I see the finish line... I'm crawling toward it... the pain is intense and continuing to grow with each movement that is made. My mind keeps telling me to go through the motions... don't stop... keep moving! My body tells me to stop but I know that I don't have a choice... just a few more things to do and then I can rest!
Three weeks, two days left!
My goal has been to meet with so many of you prior to going into surgery. That bright idea doesn't look as if it is going to happen. If I haven't already scheduled a 'date' with you then let's plan on getting together after the surgery (or, you could come and see me in the hospital). The time is slipping away faster and faster... I still have so much to take care of over the next 23 days!
First on the list is to complete my 'Five Wishes'. This is something that I was hoping to have done a couple weeks back, it just didn't happen. No matter who you are, this is something that you should look into and have on file... it's the greatest gift you could give your family. http://www.agingwithdignity.org/five-wishes.php
Five Wishes lets your family and doctors know:
Who you want to make health care decisions for you when you can't make them.
The kind of medical treatment you want or don't want.
How comfortable you want to be.
How you want people to treat you.
What you want your loved ones to know.
Another piece of interesting information... Medcure (This is NOT Medicare). This is a no-cost, compassionate alternative to a traditional funeral. I've been signed up for this for years... it's certainly worth taking a look at, especially if you are financially frugal.
http://www.medcure.org/index.html
I'm trying to take this one week at a time... this week I would like to...
Attend the Palm Sunday service at church...
Celebrate the birth of my eldest... Jennifer (my princess) will be turning 27 on March 31st. I am so thankful to have this wonderful young lady in my life and so proud to be able to call her my daughter!
Attend the Good Friday Service at church on the evening of April 2nd. If your church does not have a Good Friday service please consider coming to our church. http://granadahillscc.org/ This is a time when we reflect on God the Father sending His Son, Jesus Christ to die on the cross in place of our sin. It's time spent thanking God for sending His Son and then thanking Christ for giving His perfect life for what is the filth of our sin.
Then comes Easter Sunday morning; this is when we celebrate our Risen Lord. Yes, he died, but three days later He rose from the grave. During this service we will give praise to our Lord for what He has done and what He will continue to do in the lives of those who serve Him. Again, if you are looking for somewhere to attend please know that I would love to see you Easter Sunday Morning. http://granadahillscc.org/
Next, either Sunday afternoon/evening, or Monday evening my family will be celebrating me! Yes, it's true, I will be turning 47 on Easter Sunday! Celebrate, celebrate, celebrate... ME!
So that everyone knows that I'm not forgetting... At some point before surgery my family will join together again, but this time it will be in celebration of my son's birth... my handsome baby boy is turning 24 years old on April 16th.
In between all of this, Rick is helping me get as much as possible listed on Craigslist and in our eBay store. The goal for the next two weeks is to make as much money as possible so that most of the bills can be paid in advance for one or two months. This way, the continued focal point of money worries can be transferred to the focal point being a time for healing and recovery.
As I mentioned in the beginning, the pain is growing more severe with each passing day. Each one of my days goes something like this...
I wake up (whenever I wake up).... spend time in the Bible and in prayer (I continue to pray for many of you as the Lord puts you on my heart); this is done while I am sitting with ice on my head and/or neck to reduce any swelling and/or pain that occurred during sleep.
Then I will try to do something, anything that is working towards being accomplished, whether it's paperwork, eBay, sorting... After a couple hours of this it's back to putting ice on my head/neck, pain pills, and back to bed.
This cycle repeats itself throughout the day unless I stop to take advantage of the help I receive from either Rick, or when Jennifer and her family stop by. And then there are the boys... any time they show up I stop what I'm doing and focus my attention on them. This time is usually spent watching them while they play on the swing set!
My sugars have continued to stay down, however, the neuropathy in my hands and feet have greatly increased over the last few weeks. With that, my medication has once again changed and increased. The amount of bleeding that I experience has increased, but this is chalked up to the increased amount of, as well as the harshness of the pain pills that I am requiring. Hopefully, this will dissipate after surgery, resulting in the reduction in pain.
As I'm writing this I've found myself pausing and reflecting on my life... it's very important to me that you don't have the wrong impression of my life. It's important to me that you know that I couldn't ask for anything better then the life my Lord has given me.
PR (my pastor) sent a note to me earlier this week... I'm going to share part of his note with you...
Philippians 4:11-13
11Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.
12I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.
13I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
When we learn to be content whatever the circumstances, it takes away the power of the enemy (Satan). It takes away his ability to frustrate us. Not only that, but by our actions we are showing our faith in God. When you choose to trust in His timing, you can live in peace, you can live in joy, and you can rest in Him knowing that He has good things in store for your future.
Love to all,
Diana
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