Because He lives, I can face tomorrow
At this time in my life it is only because He lives that I can face tomorrow. For me it's one minute at a time... sometimes it's making it through one second at a time.
If you have a family member in a rehabilitation hospital or convalescent home please, please make your presence known to the hospital staff. Stand in defense of your loved one, make surprise visits two - three times a day; if you suspect anything, investigate it... don't let anything go unnoticed.
I don't have the emotional energy to go into details; but just know, even the finest of establishments can reach their limits. Frustrations are then taken out on the most frail, the weakest patients. Patients who either don't have a voice or who can't properly communicate are the most vulnerable.
I have spent the last few days being angry, furious, not understanding and not wanting to understand. I'm not angry because my parents are ill... I'm angry because I am not physically well enough to fly down to Florida and be by my mother's side during the day and sleep by her side at night.
God and I have spent a lot of time talking these last few days... or should I say, I've been doing the talking (the yelling, the screaming) and haven't paused to listen to God's response.
Psalm 55: 1-2
1 Give ear to my prayer, O God, And do not hide Yourself from my supplication.
2 Attend to me, and hear me; I am restless in my complaint, and moan noisily.
Saturday was the single worse day mom has had since first falling three weeks ago. The last few posts have pretty much explained her day to day living so I won't spend time repeating myself.
My father has become extremely tired and is not doing well himself. He wears a Nitroglycerin Patch so that he doesn't feel any pain... however, the chest pains have increased over the last several days to the point of him experiencing significant pain even with the patch. In fact he has had to miss his compression therapy because of lacking the strength he needs to get there.
My parents health has deteriorated to the point that we have asked my aunt to fly out to Florida on Friday. I'm thanking God for my Aunt Shirley, this is my fathers sister... she is an angel sent from heaven. Auntie is in her 70's herself but if she can sit with my mom and constantly remind my mom that she isn't alone this will be a tremendous help.
Hopefully, this will allow dad to take the time he needs to rest and slowly get back up on his feet. He will continue to see mom several times a day but this way he can rest when he needs to. If dad ends up back in the hospital (which won't surprise any of us) my sister will catch the first flight out of Washington so that she can be there with auntie.
*****
As for me, I'm struggling to keep my head above water. I'm still experiencing side effects from the few steroids that I was on... extreme mood swings, swollen face and ankles, and I've almost got a full beard going...lol.
The problem is that I need to go on a much stronger dose of steroids... (Prednisone 100 mg/daily) that's not something that I want to do at this point. Eventually I will need to give in and get on them... it's becoming more and more difficult to breathe, the coughing is causing my neck to swell and well.... the other problems would fall into the 'TMI' category.
Jeralynn came over last night so that we could talk (so that I could talk). After she sat quietly listening to me ramble and ramble (that's all I seem to be able to do) she told me that I needed to stop and take time out for myself.
Listen to christian music she told me, listen to your cd's over and over again. Listen to PR's (Pastor Ron's) sermons over and over again ~ http://granadahillscc.org/category/sermons/. Spend time doing things just for me; things that will calm my spirit, clear my head, and allow my body to start healing from this endless bout of bronchitis.
Okay, I think I can do that... in fact, I've spent the last hour or so listening to the greatest Pastor in the world deliver a wonderful message entitled 'Abba Will Wipe Away All Your Tears'.
And finally, a praise report, yes in the midst of all of this I have something incredible to thank my Lord for. I'm not sure that I am at liberty to give any names so I will hold off on that for now... but please join me in giving thanks to my Lord for an answer to prayer. Tuesday when getting the mail an envelope fell to ground... I opened it to find a check, in fact a check that was written out for a large amount of money. 'Medications for November & December' was written in the memo line... I broke down into tears praising my Lord for His goodness. (This of course caused me to start coughing until I was vomiting and unable to breath... after a nebulizer treatment I was finally able to calm down).
As I fell asleep that night I was able to rest in the arms of God knowing He will continue to provide for my every need.
It's been almost 6 years since I decided to put my trust in God and I don't regret that decision for one second. If you have been reading my blogs you have seen that when God became the Lord of my life He didn't promise an easy road for me. In fact, for me, my life turned upside down the minute I decided to follow Christ. But you know what, I wouldn't have it any other way... the circumstances of my life may be out of my control. But I wouldn't trade the peace and joy that I have within for all the money in the world.
I will praise the name of the Lord and I will not be afraid. He will stop my feet from stumbling and He will allow me to walk in the path of His light.
Psalm 56:8 - 13
8 You number my wanderings; You put my tears into Your bottle; are they not in Your book?
9 When I cry out to You, then my enemies will turn back; this I know, because God is for me.
10 In God (I will praise His word), in the LORD (I will praise His word),
11 In God I have put my trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?
12 Vows made to You are binding upon me, O God; I will render praises to You,
13 For You have delivered my soul from death. Have You not kept my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of the living?
With Love,
Diana
I don't have the emotional energy to go into details; but just know, even the finest of establishments can reach their limits. Frustrations are then taken out on the most frail, the weakest patients. Patients who either don't have a voice or who can't properly communicate are the most vulnerable.
I have spent the last few days being angry, furious, not understanding and not wanting to understand. I'm not angry because my parents are ill... I'm angry because I am not physically well enough to fly down to Florida and be by my mother's side during the day and sleep by her side at night.
God and I have spent a lot of time talking these last few days... or should I say, I've been doing the talking (the yelling, the screaming) and haven't paused to listen to God's response.
Psalm 55: 1-2
1 Give ear to my prayer, O God, And do not hide Yourself from my supplication.
2 Attend to me, and hear me; I am restless in my complaint, and moan noisily.
Saturday was the single worse day mom has had since first falling three weeks ago. The last few posts have pretty much explained her day to day living so I won't spend time repeating myself.
My father has become extremely tired and is not doing well himself. He wears a Nitroglycerin Patch so that he doesn't feel any pain... however, the chest pains have increased over the last several days to the point of him experiencing significant pain even with the patch. In fact he has had to miss his compression therapy because of lacking the strength he needs to get there.
My parents health has deteriorated to the point that we have asked my aunt to fly out to Florida on Friday. I'm thanking God for my Aunt Shirley, this is my fathers sister... she is an angel sent from heaven. Auntie is in her 70's herself but if she can sit with my mom and constantly remind my mom that she isn't alone this will be a tremendous help.
Hopefully, this will allow dad to take the time he needs to rest and slowly get back up on his feet. He will continue to see mom several times a day but this way he can rest when he needs to. If dad ends up back in the hospital (which won't surprise any of us) my sister will catch the first flight out of Washington so that she can be there with auntie.
*****
As for me, I'm struggling to keep my head above water. I'm still experiencing side effects from the few steroids that I was on... extreme mood swings, swollen face and ankles, and I've almost got a full beard going...lol.
The problem is that I need to go on a much stronger dose of steroids... (Prednisone 100 mg/daily) that's not something that I want to do at this point. Eventually I will need to give in and get on them... it's becoming more and more difficult to breathe, the coughing is causing my neck to swell and well.... the other problems would fall into the 'TMI' category.
Jeralynn came over last night so that we could talk (so that I could talk). After she sat quietly listening to me ramble and ramble (that's all I seem to be able to do) she told me that I needed to stop and take time out for myself.
Listen to christian music she told me, listen to your cd's over and over again. Listen to PR's (Pastor Ron's) sermons over and over again ~ http://granadahillscc.org/category/sermons/. Spend time doing things just for me; things that will calm my spirit, clear my head, and allow my body to start healing from this endless bout of bronchitis.
Okay, I think I can do that... in fact, I've spent the last hour or so listening to the greatest Pastor in the world deliver a wonderful message entitled 'Abba Will Wipe Away All Your Tears'.
And finally, a praise report, yes in the midst of all of this I have something incredible to thank my Lord for. I'm not sure that I am at liberty to give any names so I will hold off on that for now... but please join me in giving thanks to my Lord for an answer to prayer. Tuesday when getting the mail an envelope fell to ground... I opened it to find a check, in fact a check that was written out for a large amount of money. 'Medications for November & December' was written in the memo line... I broke down into tears praising my Lord for His goodness. (This of course caused me to start coughing until I was vomiting and unable to breath... after a nebulizer treatment I was finally able to calm down).
As I fell asleep that night I was able to rest in the arms of God knowing He will continue to provide for my every need.
It's been almost 6 years since I decided to put my trust in God and I don't regret that decision for one second. If you have been reading my blogs you have seen that when God became the Lord of my life He didn't promise an easy road for me. In fact, for me, my life turned upside down the minute I decided to follow Christ. But you know what, I wouldn't have it any other way... the circumstances of my life may be out of my control. But I wouldn't trade the peace and joy that I have within for all the money in the world.
I will praise the name of the Lord and I will not be afraid. He will stop my feet from stumbling and He will allow me to walk in the path of His light.
Psalm 56:8 - 13
8 You number my wanderings; You put my tears into Your bottle; are they not in Your book?
9 When I cry out to You, then my enemies will turn back; this I know, because God is for me.
10 In God (I will praise His word), in the LORD (I will praise His word),
11 In God I have put my trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?
12 Vows made to You are binding upon me, O God; I will render praises to You,
13 For You have delivered my soul from death. Have You not kept my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of the living?
With Love,
Diana
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