July 17, 2008 ~ Weekly Update #34

Happy belated 4th of July to you all! I received an email from a friend (some of you may have also received this email; it’s from Nora – so please excuse the repetitiveness). When you have about 5 minutes please click on the link below.

The link is a video clip from Red Skelton’s television show on CBS dated January 14, 1969. If you are not familiar with him, Red Skelton was a movie and TV star; a funny man in his day.

Please listen to the entire clip, all the way thru to the end, please listen until the end. How was he to know then the relevance it would have today, some 40 years later?

Click on the link, and turn your sound on – you need sound – if you don’t have speakers then find someone who does.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kfz2XDXaeqc

I am finally starting to do better… Praise The Lord. I’ve even made it to church the last two weeks; this past week I was even able to sit in the front row instead of in the very back of the church where I needed to be able to rest my neck.

I do believe that my Lord has started a healing in my body; whether this healing is temporary or permanent I am truly grateful for the work going on in my life. I remain on oxygen; however, I believe that God is using this as a way to bring a new life to my tired body.

I have learned a great deal being down for the last several weeks. God revealed His absolute and omnipotent power to me a few weeks ago.

He must be omnipotent in order to daily provide wisdom for each of His children, all around the world. Just imagine with me… My God is aware of every step Ryan (my friend’s son) is taking while touring Indonesia ~ He hears the prayers of my mother in Florida ~ He knows my concerns as I cry out to Him in California ~ whether you know it or not He is working in the lives of all of you as I pray for you individually.

I know that some who read this have not been saved by the Grace of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ… you are always in my prayers… I pray that God will draw you close to Him and that you will have a desire to learn about my Jesus and what He has done for you.

So much has gone on over the last few weeks… This will be a short entry; my hope is to get back to doing this weekly instead of every couple months. Following are just two of the things that I was working thru and being frustrated by when I wrote the last entry on my blog.

I’m still not receiving the correct amount of money from SSDI… ugh!!! As most of you know I am currently receiving $650 each month; the amount I should be receiving is $1,440 each month. I actually just got off the phone with my worker at the Social Security office… the conversation was left at “we will speak again tomorrow”. As for now the money due to me remains in the ‘Social Security Payment Center’; for some unknown reason the funds have not yet been released.

It’s not just the correct amount of money each month that I am looking for; I also desperately need the back pay that is due to me. This money is also being held by the ‘payment center’.

For some of you who have known my quiet, extremely shy son, Rick the following will come as a complete shock to you.

My son Ricky moved out right around the time I sent out the last update. He still pops in to spend the night once or twice every couple of weeks but for the most part he has now left the nest. I didn’t want to admit it at the time it was happening but this was quite an adjustment for me. Yes, I still have Jen and Nicholas; but not having Rick here has been an adjustment.

I must tell you that I am very proud of the young man that I raised; he is still giving me about $1,000 each month to help with the rent and utilities. For a young man of only 22 years of age I take great pride in the fact that he is taking on the responsibility of making sure his mother is still being taken care of. This will not continue forever, but at least until I receive the full amount of money I am due each month from the government and then we can figure out what will happen next.

At this same time Ricky started having rather serious chest pains. He would have tightness and pain in his chest, his heart felt as if it was going to beat out of his chest, his arms would go numb, and he would break out in a sweat while at the same time feeling dizzy, nauseated and like he was going to pass out. Remember my Ricky is only 22 years old; this was about the same age that Matt was when he passed away of a sudden heart attack (Read More).

At first it was thought this was brought on because of too much caffeine; he was drinking 4 – 6 cups of coffee each day along with 3 – 4 energy drinks. After being off all caffeine for about three weeks he was still having these problems.

He was recently started on heart medication; this seems to have made only a minimal difference. Although he hasn’t had any more attacks the continued rapid heart beat remains a concern. His health insurance kicks in on August 1st at that point he will be able to see a cardiologist. We really won’t know any more until August when he is able to have some tests done.

It has been suggested that he may be experiencing pre-heart attack symptoms. Since Alan’s (my ex’s) father passed away at a relatively young age of a massive heart attack and my father has congestive heart failure I am very concerned about what all this means.

So now you know ‘some of the things’ that were going on at the time of writing the last update. Next week I will get another one out to you filling you in on a couple more things that have been and are continuing on.

Meanwhile, I have been working on trusting in God…

Philippians 4:4, 6-7
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.
7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Jeremiah 29:11
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

And now for some fun news…

Nicholas has a new uncle ~ yes, it’s true… Nick’s Grandpa Cesar and Grandma Alicia gave birth to a baby boy on Monday, July 7th. He weight in at 7lbs 12 oz and was 19” long. His name is Jeriah Kaden, but Nicholas has decided to just call him best buddy!



In this picture you will see Grandma Diana (that’s me) with Nicholas, and Nick's Auntie Mariah and Uncle Kaden. As you can see Nick and Auntie Mariah were getting ready to go swimming.

Love to you all,

Diana

If you would like to join me in prayer my requests are that God will make a way for these funds from Social Security to be released immediately and for Rick’s health.

June 21, 2008 ~ Weekly Update #33

Well, what can I say… I’m tired! I’m tired of getting up every morning and facing questions that don’t seem to have answers, having the same responsibilities, and feeling like I’m fighting a losing battle day after day.

To be honest with you, over the past several weeks I haven’t been praying and reading the Bible everyday… Why? Because I was frustrated and felt like what is the point… Well, the point was that I have been the one on the losing end.

Not because I would have received answers to my questions, or that some of my responsibilities would have been taken away from me, or that I even would have won one of the many battles I have been facing over the last several weeks. But instead that I would have had joy and peace… the kind that only comes from having a relationship with Christ.

This week I am preaching to myself and I guess to anyone else who might care to listen. There are times when Christians are faced with what at the time seems to be insurmountable problems, as I have shared before; it is at those times that one needs to make a conscious choice to turn to our Lord.

I’ve received several emails over the last couple weeks; some of you knowing a great deal about what’s going on and some knowing nothing but still sending scriptures and encouragement. They have all meant a great deal.

I received one in particular from PR… He was kind enough to only give me a partial sermon (lecture), but it was certainly one that I needed to read. He shared with me a verse in Philippians but I am going to include a bit more.

Philippians 4:4-9
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!
5 Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Meditate on These Things
8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
9 The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.

Some of the things that I needed to review were to:
1 Rejoice in the Lord always
2 Be anxious for nothing
3 Let my requests be made known to God
4 To meditate on things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, and of a good report
5 Also to meditate and give God thanks & praise for anything of virtue and everything worthy of praise

According to the above scripture, I could have received the peace of God had I not been so stubborn. God was always right there waiting to give me the peace He has to offer, but me in my stubbornness decided not to turn to Him. The peace of God, which doesn’t always make sense, was there for the receiving, it would have protected my heart and mind through Christ Jesus instead of my going it alone.

I know this to be true… Why, because in every other instance in my life when I have done what the scripture says God has provided this peace thru Christ Jesus. He has never failed me

I know that so many of you are suffering with things going on in your own lives. I’m embarrassed with the few problems of mine that seem to have overtaken me.

Friends in Iowa have either lost their own homes or at least know several if not many who have lost everything in the floods and tornados. If nothing else, simple trips that normally take 15 minutes have now turned into over an hour. Some of you are having problems with your children, family illness’ and so much more.

Please know that I am back to holding you up in prayer daily. I may not have the energy to communicate daily via email; and certainly haven’t been speaking with any of you on the phone… Many of you I owe returned phone calls and emails, (especially Victoria B). If you have spoken with me lately you would understand that it does zap my energy spending time on the phone; furthermore I can’t carry on a conversation with hacking and coughing up a lung.

I have been fighting pneumonia for the last several weeks; I thought I had it pretty much under control and now I feel like I am fighting off a relapse. I’m doing my daily breathing treatments and taking my regular meds… I’m holding off seeing if I can just shake it off before going back to the doctor.

Part of my recovery is due in part to my friend Marsha… she makes the very best homemade chicken soup you could ever imagine. Thank you Marsha, you have no idea how delicious that was! You really need to bottle this stuff and put it on the market.

The SCAN representative came out to see me on Monday… every thing looked and sounded excellent. She said that by Friday I should know if I had been approved. Wouldn’t you know, Tuesday afternoon I received a phone call saying that I didn’t qualify. Huh? Apparently I should have enrolled in a secondary insurance plan 30 – 90 prior to receiving Medicare. If you will think back with me, I didn’t even know that I had Medicare until about seven (7) days after receiving it. I have spent a good part of my week on the phone trying to find out what in the world is going on. This is one of those questions without answers battle.

Medicare is taking away the traveling oxygen for now. I need to have another test done and can’t do that right now until I am able to enroll in a secondary insurance.

I still haven’t received the balance of my SSI money… neither the back pay nor the correct monthly amount that I should now be receiving. About a month ago I was told that everything should be corrected and I should have all my back pay in hand by July 1st. Just this past week I was informed that my case had been taken out of the payment center and was sent back again for review.

So many other things are going on right now… too many to go into and with the quickness of the direction each is moving I would have to email you everyday to keep you posted. That is more than I can possibly do right now.

My Nicholas did have his birthday party last Saturday and I was able to sit and watch everything going on. (Nick is the one on the right) This perhaps has something to do with the possible pneumonia relapse. He did have so much fun and we were able to find out that some of his friends who he currently attends pre-school with will be going to the same kindergarten with him in September.

We also found out that his very best friend just lives around the corner. It’s actually pretty funny, his friend (Isaiah’s) Mom (her name is Jennie) and I talk a few times every month and had no idea Nick and Isaiah were friends. She takes her boys for a walk right around 5:00pm everyday, I see her and we exchange pleasantries. Nicholas always just misses them when he arrives home from school so the connection was never made.

We haven’t seen them the last couple days as nobody is walking around right now; just a little bit ago around 5:00pm it was about 107° outside. I’ve had the air running full blast all day and inside the house won’t cool down fewer than 80°… for all you in So Cal I’m just preaching to the choir.

We do have something to look forward to… Grandpa Cesar and Grandma Alicia will be giving Nicholas another auntie or uncle on July 7th. This little one is being stubborn and won’t allow anyone to know what he or she is. The last ultra-sound is scheduled for Friday and we are hoping beyond all hope to find out what this angel is, but as for now it looks as though this will be a surprise. All I can say to Grandpa (51) and Grandma (41) is more power to you! Auntie Mariah (5 years old) is very excited and can’t wait; she has finally given mommy permission to keep the baby if it is a boy.

I know this update had been all over the map and I do hope it makes sense. I’ve needed to get something out as I have received a few inquiries as to why no recent updates.

Much love to you all,

Diana

May 31, 2008 ~ Weekly Update #32

A few things I forgot…

First a very Happy Birthday to PR… Pastor Ron! Happy Birthday to someone who means so much too so many!

He celebrated his birthday this past week; at least I hope it was a celebration :) I know once you start getting as old as he is you really need to decide whether to celebrate the fact that you can still move around or mourn how painful it is to do the same things you were able to do a year ago. (hehehe)

My apologies for failing to mention the following in a timelier manor…

In memoriam of the four additional families who have suffered a loss in the last couple months:

A young bride at our church (Rebecca) lost her mother after battling cancer; her mother did make it to Rebecca’s wedding and for that there is much to be thankful for. Please remember her in your prayers as her husband is due to be sent to Iraq in the next couple weeks.

Another friend at church (Kathy) said goodbye to her father after a lengthy illness.

My friend Stephen, (Jeralynn’s husband) lost his mother; this after suffering a stroke three years ago.

And most recently, my friend Mary who walked into her daughter’s bedroom, only to find that she had passed on.

************

As for me it has been a long few weeks… I do believe that I had slipped into a bit of depression. My expectations over the last month were that I would feel 100% better, that hasn’t been my experience.

I have felt better… I’ve been able to get around much easier, much quicker, my thought process has continued to improve, I am able to hold my head up now for a couple hours at a time, and I’m only sleeping about 9 hours a day. I may not sleep 9 hours straight and it may not be during the hours in which I should be sleeping, but none the less it’s much better than the 12 – 15 hours I was sleeping every day.

The bit of depression that I was feeling was related to what my own expectations were versus reality. I was hoping that I would be able to get up in the morning, clean the house, work in the yard, go grocery shopping, play with Nicholas when he came home after school, and have dinner ready for the kids when they come home from work.

Reality has been that I can take a shower and make a meal every day… along with that I try to exercise a bit (go for a short walk), and do something small each day. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the improvement in which being on oxygen has given me. I was just expecting so much more.

After putting on paper how my life has improved over the last several weeks I now have a greater since of appreciation as to the small changes that have occurred.

I must say that after all these weeks I haven’t had any headaches, none that caused me to be bed ridden anyway. No headache that is until yesterday… the inside of my nostrils had been drying up from the constant use of oxygen so I took a bit of a break (about 24 hours). Just enough time to apply some cream and allow things to go back to normal. Well, wouldn’t you know it; I ended up with a headache that sent me straight to bed. It took about 12 hours of being back on oxygen, lying in a cold dark room with ice packs surrounding my head, and taking extra doses of migraine meds, but the headache finally went away.

I’m now certain that this added bit of oxygen has certainly helped my headaches ~ I am so very grateful for that!

There were no surprises at my doctor visit last week; it was just a quick visit in and out. I’ve been looking thru all the different secondary insurances that are offered. I thought that I had finally found one but it was going to cost me over $700 / month. My doctor told me to check out SCAN; I had forgotten to look into it, I believed it was only for those 65 yrs and older. I finally got around to calling yesterday and found out that I do indeed qualify. The great news is that it doesn’t sound like it will cost me a thing. I will be meeting with a representative from SCAN this coming week to find out the details.

I welcome any comments from those of you who are familiar with SCAN; be it positive or negative, I would love to hear what you have to say.

Regarding my income, I have found out that instead of the $650.00 per month that I am currently receiving from SSDI, I will instead be making a grand total of $1,300 per month. I’m still waiting to be reimbursed for a large amount of remaining back pay to which I am entitled (I need this to pay back money that I owe to individuals as well as bills that need to be paid). I hopefully will be seeing this money before the 1st of July.

I do hope that you all had a wonderful Mother’s Day! Mine was terrific, I was treated like a princess… the picture is what my Nicholas colored for me. I even made it to church, that was truly all that I wanted but everything about that day was wonderful.



We will finally be celebrating Nick’s birthday on June 14th. This will be the first birthday that he will have a “real” party to include his friends. With the last couple years being financially stretched so thin, Jennie really didn’t have the funds to have a party for him. Before that he was so little that it didn’t matter anyway.

He actually turned 5 on December 10th but with Thanksgiving just prior to his birthday and Christmas just a couple weeks after it’s an inconvenient time to throw a party. This year Jennie decided to start celebrating his birthday on the ½, well almost… May 10th is his actual half way mark, but that also happens to be the birthday of his auntie Mariah who herself just turned 5 years old this past May.



Just two days after his party on June 16th my precious little Nicholas will be graduating from pre-school. Nick missed starting kindergarten as his birth was just 5 days too late; this I think ended up being a blessing. He will now be entering kindergarten so much better prepared then he would have last year. I must say, he is a very smart, creative, and happy little boy; can you tell what a proud grandma I am? For those of you who knew me when Nick was born, can you believe how fast time goes by?

He loves riding his bike, skateboarding, riding his scooter, swimming, and climbing anything from ladders to trees to walls. He loves to figure out how things work… I think he gets some of that from watching his daddy and grandpa Cesar fixing things at both my house and grandpa’s house. If he’s left alone too long I will walk in on something that has been taken completely apart; he will tell me that it wasn’t working right and he needed to fix it.

Thank you to Children’s Hunger Fund as they gifted us with another wonderful delivery of delicious food. I am always amazed at the generosity of this wonderful organization. If you are ever looking to make a donation to a charitable organization who helps so many who are truly in need then please consider them. If you want to see what they are all about then take a moment and look at their site: http://www.childrenshungerfund.org/

Well that is enough for now, my plan (as it is every Saturday) is to try and rest so that I can make it to church tomorrow.

With love,
Diana

(Matthew 5:3-10
3 Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.)

http://www.interviewwithgod.com/beatitudes/

May 8, 2008 ~ Weekly Update #31

This has been an interesting week for me… My driver’s license expired last month and it was time to make a decision. Was I going to renew my license with the hope of someday driving again or had the time come to get a California ID.

I had stopped driving a couple years ago because my neurologist determined the spinal cord injuries interfered with my ability to safely operate a motor vehicle. Any attempt in correcting this would require a third surgery on my neck. Because of my current health problems surgery is not possible at this time.

So the decision was made… I opted for a California ID card.

Experiencing this has certainly allowed me to have empathy for the elderly who have what may be their last bit of freedom taken away from them, their ability to drive. It’s a strange feeling to know that even if I wanted to jump in the car and take off that legally I can no longer do that. It’s all good though… after not driving for the past couple years I’m not sure that I would want to get behind the wheel again, especially here in Los Angeles.

Oxygen results… it seems to have lifted some of the brain fog that I have been in but no other improvements. I had a follow up visit on Monday and it was decided that I will now be on oxygen 24/7. Some additional tanks will be delivered this week so that anytime I leave the house I will still be able to breathe in this additional air. If I didn’t already need help getting around this should be quite interesting… I can see it now, sometimes I just need a cane, but usually I have a walker or wheelchair and now will be dragging along a tank of oxygen. This should certainly be interesting if not entertaining. Still, I am actually quite excited to see what the outcome of this may be. My hope is that I will regain some of the energy that I have lost and that I can start going to church again.

Some days are really depressing, the days I that I must decide whether to use my energy taking a shower or to fix something to eat. Then I think of my friend Vicky… she is first of all my hero and secondly a quadriplegic who has been experiencing some difficult days lately. In my feeble attempts I try to follow her example that regardless of what lies behind or ahead of her; she has made the choice to keep her focus on Christ and to never give up.

(II Corinthians 4:16-18
16 That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day.
17 For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!
18 So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.)

What became real to me is that when speaking with a friend I realized that regardless of our situations, as long as we are serving our Lord…

Now, I don’t want you to interpret serving my Lord as just saying that you believe there is a God or saying that yes, you believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for your sins. Instead I want you to know that serving my Lord means that you must truly give your life to Christ and daily serve Him with all that you have.

So… as long as we are serving our Lord then regardless of what you go thru you will have a peace and a joy that you will find no where else.

If you are daily serving our Lord then you will seek guidance and wisdom from Him with every choice you make, every sound you mutter, and with every thing that you do. If this is how you are living your life then you will be living as God would have you live. You will experience a kind of joy that only God can give. You will have the reassurance that what happens on this earth is only for a moment and that what counts is where you will spend eternity.

When I die I know where I will get to spend eternity… my eternity will be spent worshiping and praising the King of King’s and Lord of Lord’s, my Savior, Jesus Christ. What a glorious reward that will be!

On another note…

Happy Mother’s Day to all you wonderful mothers! If nobody is going to celebrate you then celebrate yourself… you are worth it. Buy yourself a bouquet of flowers, take yourself out to eat, get a pedicure, or just put your feet up for the day.

To all you husbands of mothers, make sure you celebrate your wife. She did after all raise your children, she carried each of them for nine months, and went thru endless hours of labor (or a very painful c-section) to provide you with those wonderful humans we affectionately call our children.

To those whose mothers are still alive, make sure you tell your mother that you love her. Even though we as mothers don’t always act like it, we love you more than you will ever know. As for my children, you are my pride and joy! I can’t put into words how much I love and care for you. And my Nicholas, what can I say except that you were an answer to prayer and now you are a blessing!

And now to my mother…

Thank you for being my mom; thank you for the endless hours that you have spent in prayer for me, my children, and grandson. Thank you for knowing when to give me space and knowing when to come in and scoop me up. Even though you may not think so, you are the greatest mother there ever was and I thank God for the privilege of allowing me to be your daughter.

I love you mom!

With much love to all,

Diana

P.S. Just in case you are not aware… the price of First Class postage is going up on May 12, 2008. I wanted to remind you all that the Post Office offers ‘Forever Stamps’. You may purchase as many of these stamps as you like at the current rate of .41 cents. These stamps will always be valid as First-Class postage on standard envelopes weighing one ounce or less, regardless of any subsequent increases in the First-Class rate. To purchase these stamps at the current rate of .41 cents each you must purchase them before May 12, 2008.

April 26, 2008 ~ Weekly Update #30

No More Excuses…

As of 8:00pm Wednesday I was started on oxygen. I have been informed by my children and a couple friends that I no longer have an excuse for the brain fog I have been in. It’s only been a couple days but I believe that I can think a little more clearly, only time will tell.

Because the sleep apnea I have is such a mild case it was determined that I won’t be using a CPAP machine and that instead I will be put on oxygen alone. I am to use oxygen while I sleep and throughout the day as needed.

After speaking with many oxygen companies I finally found one that offered a hardship program. This happens to be the same company that Alan (my ex-husband) works for. What a blessing that has turned out to be as everyone I have come in contact with have gone above and beyond in getting me set up. They have also been wonderful in getting me set up with the hardship program; this will cover whatever Medicare doesn’t cover.

Receiving this oxygen was nothing short of God allowing it to happen…

On Monday, April 21st I was informed that the sleep test results were only good for one month. If I didn’t have the oxygen by Wednesday, April 23rd then I would have to start over with the sleep test.

After spending most of Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday on the phone I was finally told that I would have oxygen by the end of the day. At 5:00pm, with just seven hours before the day was up I received the news that I would receive the delivery before the day was over. At 8:00pm on Wednesday, just four hours before the day was over I was on oxygen.

With being put on oxygen I was hoping for an incredible turnaround in my health. I have seen some improvement but it certainly hasn’t been a night and day difference. As soon as I understand this Medicare “stuff” a little more clearly then I will be in to see my doctor. It still needs to be determined why my saturation levels are so low; we need to find out the cause and hopefully begin treatment on that.

As I continue to ask God to lead and direct my life He is allowing me to see His mighty hand at work. Things don’t always end up the way I think things should be but it’s always turns out for my good.

My God continues to allow me to have a perfect life; I wouldn’t change my life for anything. For the first time in my life these past three years have been full of joy… I am absolutely satisfied with the life Christ has given me.

When asking God to provide for my needs, for a healing, or for an answer on anything He always answers; it’s either Yes, No, Maybe or Something better than I could have ever imagined!

Isaiah 55:8-9
8 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD. 9 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.

Love to all,

Diana

April 18, 2008 ~ Weekly Update #29

This past week around my house has been wonderful for the kids…

Why, because I’ve been silent or sleeping most of the time. There were a few exceptions, the times I was so uncomfortable that I would lash out at anyone and everything that crossed my path.

On April 4th I went in for a simple tooth extraction; this was for relief of the pain that I was in. This was to be my birthday present to myself… Over $400 and one week later, I was still in pain. Can you say dry socket? The past couple days I have finally started to feel some relief.

Yes, I suppose you can chalk this up to the fact that I didn’t exactly follow the post op directions I was given. The instructions said ice cream the first 24 hours and then liquid for the next 48 hours to be followed by a soft food diet for 1 week. Additionally there was to be bed rest for the first few days and no activity for 1 week. I thought, you’ve got to be kidding, this was a simple tooth extraction – this is the 8th tooth I’ve had pulled and I don’t ever remember being given all these instructions.

I figured that I knew best and even if I didn’t it was my birthday and I was just going to be defiant.

My friend Dawn called letting me know that she had made dinner for me as a birthday present. Since I was in no pain (hmmm… was that because I was still numb?) and I needed to have dinner anyway we decided to share this delicious meal together and have a couple hours of wonderful conversation. Saturday went well; I did take a couple pain pills throughout the day but figured of course I should be feeling some kind of discomfort. I skipped straight ahead to the soft food diet; still everything seemed fine; it wasn’t until the wee hours of Sunday morning that I knew I was in trouble. I tried rinsing out the socket as I was certain there was food in the hole. Nothing came out so I picked away with my toothbrush; finally after rinsing again something dislodged. I was good for a couple hours and then the pain set in. It ended up that the object (blood clot) that I dislodged was supposed to keep this from turning into a dry socket.

My daughter, son, Stephen, and Jeralynn have all been so kind thru this… they have very lovingly been telling me “I TOLD YOU SO”… I simply respond by saying that I am behaving this way because I need oxygen! This excuse is growing thinner by the minute!

Now, you think this would have caused me to drop a few pounds… hahahaha! I didn’t gain any weight, but certainly didn’t loose anything as I’m certain most of you would have.

Some good news; I received my first check on my birthday. Let me tell you, if that didn’t give me a reason to Praise my Lord then I’m not sure what would have.

Could it be that simple? Of course not, the check was for less than half of what I was expecting. Once again, can I just tell you of my love for our government!!! My flesh wants to shout out to you about every last thing that is on my mind. That however is not what my God would have me do. I have learned a great deal about how both our local and federal government works over the past few years. I’m very saddened by what I know; as I’m writing this I am beginning to feel that perhaps God has allowed me to experience this so that I will begin to pray for our government and the officials that are governing us. Believe me, that was much easier to write then it will be to work thru. This is something that God and I will be working on together; I will let you know how this progresses.

I’m certain that the calculation of money is simply a clerical error. However, at this point I still have no idea how much money I will be receiving.

To be honest with you I had already made plans on what I would like to do once I received some of the money. “My plan” was to replace a few of the items that I had to sell. Maybe to live life a little easier… (Like not needing to run out and grab a leaf off the tree when we run out of toilet paper… hehehe)

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining; I’m thrilled that I have something, anything coming in. For a moment I thought, “God, don’t you realize that I have been counting on a set amount of money coming in?” “How can anyone expect to live on $600 per month?” “My Lord, I have so many bills to pay, I need the money I was counting on!”

God already knew this was going to happen… This was certainly no surprise to Him and He already knows how this will end.

In the Bible it says to be anxious for nothing; the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word nothing as:
1. Not any thing: no thing (leaves nothing to the imagination)
2. No part
(Philippians 4:6
6 Be anxious for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.)

This verse doesn’t give me permission to haphazardly start spending the money He has already given me, but it does tell me not to worry. He wants me to be wise and to seek counsel from Him with every penny I spend.

God needed to remind me that my life is in His hands; “my plan” no longer matters. While listening to PR’s message from Sunday the Lord made very real to me a scripture that I had forgotten. I am to be content with what I have, truly the only thing that should matter is that my Lord will never leave me nor forsake me. My Lord is my helper and He will provide for my every need.
(Hebrews 13:5 - 6
5 Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
6 So we may boldly say: “The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?”)

When receiving the gift of salvation, one’s desire becomes to seek after what God’s will is for your life. One’s true desire will be to honor God with everything you have and in all that you do.

My intention of sharing the following with you is because I want you to know that as a Christian, a Born Again Christian, I am to be obedient to God in everything I do. I am not to pick parts of the Bible that I choose to follow and obey, but to be obedient in everything. That said, regardless of how much or how little, the first of this money will be given to my Lord; the tithe that belongs to Him. God is not asking me to do this; it is a command that as a Christian I tithe so that the house of my God will not be neglected.
(Nehemiah 10:39
39 For the children of Israel and the children of Levi shall bring the offering of the grain, of the new wine and the oil, to the storerooms where the articles of the sanctuary are, where the priests who minister and the gatekeepers and the singers are; and we will not neglect the house of our God. )

A little last minute good news… I received my MediCare card today, but still no oxygen. There is so much paperwork, so much red-tape… but again, I am certain that God won’t let me down.

As you read on you will see that I’m really looking forward to getting a little extra oxygen sent to my brain…

I was on the phone with my friend Bobbi the other day. We were chatting and chatting; all of a sudden I wanted to say something to her and I forgot who I was talking to. I had to stop and ask “what’s your name”. She thought I was continuing on with my story, I told her “no, listen to me; I don’t know your name”. She was very patient with me and told me who she was; we laughed… I told her that once I’m on oxygen this won’t happen anymore so enjoy it now.

Other times I’m having a wonderful conversation with one of my children; I will ask a question with much enthusiasm and excitement as I await the answer. Most often they turn to me and inform me that I’ve already asked this question several times and was given the answer each and every time. I promise them that if I’m given the answer just one more time then I won’t ask again… If your kids are anything like mine then you might understand that my kids aren’t finding this as amusing as my friends might.

I am looking forward to the day when this theory of added oxygen can actually be tested!

Everyday is a new day! I have no idea what will happen tomorrow and at this point I’m having problems remembering what happened yesterday… so you see, for me everyday really is a new day! Hehehe

Much love to you all,

Diana

April 4, 2008 ~ Weekly Update #28

There is so much news to share with you; I’m not sure where to begin!

Finally… the reason behind at least some of my problems may have been discovered.

With God’s help my doctor was able to get me in for a sleep study test on Wednesday, March 26th. I say with God’s help because I saw my doctor on Friday, March 21st, by Monday morning I not only received insurance and medical group approval but also had an appointment for the sleep test.

The results… I have an extremely mild form of apnea, so mild as to be called borderline apnea.

However, my blood oxygen levels fell to 83% while I was sleeping; apparently this isn’t such a good thing. That said, once I’m able to start on oxygen I just might gain some of my life back.

It was determined that for now I will only need oxygen at night. The idea is that even though the apnea is mild I will still be put on a CPAP machine to take some of the strain off of my heart and lungs. The oxygen will be filtered in thru the CPAP machine throughout the night.

I am so excited… my doctor told me that this just might be the reason for my migraines, and is most probably the reason for my slurred speech, forgetfulness, fogginess, lack of concentration, memory loss, falling, & dizziness, etc.

However, can you imagine how wonderful this will be if I can gain some of my life back! I might actually be able to do something more than get up, go to the couch, and then back to bed. Hurrah!

I was given this news on Thursday, March 27th, that meant that I had Friday, March 28th, and Monday, March 31st to receive approval and delivery for the necessary equipment. In case you forgot, March 31st was the last day I was covered under my health insurance.

The authorizations didn’t come thru in time. Tuesday I began contacting oxygen companies inquiring as to hardship pricing for a CPAP machine and oxygen. The prices were all much more than I could ever afford. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. My prayers turned to asking God to take the situation, because it was more than I could handle. I asked my Heavenly Father to provide in a way that only He could.

Wednesday, April 2nd I decided to call my contact at SSA (Social Security Administration). I left a message letting her know that it had been determined that I now require oxygen. I requested help in expediting the Medi-Care benefits.

My wonderful neighbor and friend, Dawn had provided me with many avenues that I could explore. She has what seems to be an endless supply of knowledge and has been such a blessing for me in patiently helping to walk me step by step thru most of this paperwork. I had begun to explore some of the options that Dawn had provided but at this point I was beginning to grow very weary both mentally and physically.

At about 4:30 Wednesday afternoon my SSA contact returned my call.

She informed me that my Medi-Care had become effective as of April 1st, 2008. She continued on saying that they just hadn’t had a chance to get the paperwork out to me yet.

Now, in case you missed it, let me spell this out for you… my Cal-Cobra benefits were exhausted on March 31st, 2008. Without my knowledge, with only my Lord knowing, my Medi-Care benefits were activated as of April 1st, 2008.

PRAISE THE LORD! SHOUT HALLELUJAH! SING PRAISES TO THE KING!

Just in case you haven’t yet, I do hope that you will join me in dropping to your knees for a moment and giving thanks to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ for once again meeting my needs.

This truly has been a time of waiting upon the Lord and trusting with everything in me that He would not fail me. No matter what the circumstances, as a child of my Lord, my only job was to trust in Him. To have faith that He will supply all my needs according to His riches in glory!

(Philippians 4:19KJV
But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.)

Shall we chat about Medi-Care for a moment? If anyone has information that you might like to share then please forward it to me. I was loaned a copy of the 2007 Medi-Care book (remember I haven’t received any paperwork yet), this is all so very confusing! Medi-Care A, B, C, and D? Is there a Medi-Care book for Dummies out there?

The money… it should be coming soon… it’s not the correct amount, but at least I know that a check is on its way. Jeralynn and I were at the SSA office this morning attempting to straighten out some of the confusion that I am now certain is all just a part of the process. Eventually I will receive the correct amount of money, but for now I am grateful for the swiftness in receiving anything.

Oh, and by the way… the review that may or may not have taken place… the one in which the courts decision could have been overturned without cause… that is now a thing of the past. PRAISE THE LORD!

And now for something that I wouldn’t normally share, but apparently most of you already know so here goes… Today, shesa my birthday!

I honestly believe that God allowed the timing for all of this to fall into place on a very special day for me. Today, April 4th, my birthday! Next to my God sending His Son to die on the cross for my sins; my Lord has blessed me with the greatest birthday gift I could be given. What seems to have been a very long chapter in my life is finally starting to come to a close, and with a happy ending at that.

It has been a very long road, rest assured it’s far from over and I’m certain it will continue to be an interesting journey. How wonderful to look back and see what God has done in the 45 years of my life.

A few friends treated me to lunch yesterday and presented me with a very loving gift. I was told the idea of this gift originated with my friend Bobbi (her and Stan are currently in Oregon and will be back in September – I think). I was told a couple others took over the job of completing this wonderful idea before it was given to me. (I was even told who you were but I don’t remember… I’m counting on the fact that once I’m on oxygen I will regain my memory! I really am counting on that!)

The gift… it was a scrapbook album given to me from my church family; it was filled with wonderful letters, encouraging notes, pictures, and special scriptures. I can’t believe all who took part in this, and it was all done without my knowledge, even our youth group took time out of their busy lives to write me notes. The emotion was overwhelming to me, I was absolutely speechless, I can’t put into words the gratitude I feel towards all who contributed to this wonderful book that I will always treasure.

After reading it over and over again, I felt as if I had been to my own funeral and received a ‘Year Book’ all in one. What a wonderful, humbling, experience!

Prayer requests:
God will grant wisdom and direction in making insurance decisions.
Once the oxygen treatment begins that my life will be improved.

Love to you all,

Diana