What a year 2010 has been and what a year I think 2011 will end up being!
I think the greatest thing I learned this year was being reminded that we are only here on earth for a fleeting moment.
In April 2010 I underwent my third cervical spinal surgery... this one was to remove the plate in the back of my neck. So far, it appears that this has worked... for the most part anyway; I say that because the headaches are gone and for that I am praising my Lord. I still have some numbness and weakness in my extremities, but the headaches (constant migraines with no relief) are gone!
My parents came out for April and May to assist with my recovery... that was a wonderful time! My father (who has congestive heart failure) played the handyman and repaired everything that needed fixing in my home (yes, I'm renting, but if I don't complain about and/or fix it myself the landlord won't raise the rent). Dad even remodeled the spare room in my house to make it into a baseball room for the boys. Nicholas and Nathanial were so very happy with having their own room at grandma's house.
My mother spent her time getting me better... waiting on me hand and foot. I know that had to be difficult for her... not necessarily waiting on me but realizing how much more I had deteriorated compared to the last time she was with me. I think the biggest surprise to them this year was realizing that I no longer have control over my bodily fluids. But my mother remained a saint, constantly changing the linens and cleaning up whenever I didn't hit my intended target (be it the trash can or toilet).
They were both able to spend time attending Nick's baseball games and getting to know the newest member of the family, Nathaniel.
My parents went home mid-May; mom started back to working her full time job and dad continued working around the house in addition to his part time job, and life as he knows it.
By the end of August my father was in ICU hanging on to life; there were no expectations that he would live. He was alert enough that he was able to assist my mother, sister, and aunt in planning every detail of how he envisioned his memorial was going to be. But then, just as quick as he went down, he turned around and started getting stronger... I'm not saying better because he is still very ill... he daily wears a nitroglycerin patch to keep his pain at bay. It reminds him that he has 5 inoperable arteries that are nearly 100% blocked... we are all aware that one day his heart will stop... only God knows when this day will be. Meanwhile we continue to be thankful for each day that is given to not only him but to each of us.
Before we knew it time had flown by and it was the beginning of October; mom was celebrating her birthday. I think she was most thankful this birthday simply because dad was still around to celebrate this day with her.
Then it happened, one week after her birthday... mom fell and and landed hard. She broke two bones in six places in her pelvic area; 32 days later (way ahead of schedule) mom came back home.
Mom was able to be home for Thanksgiving... this was a much earlier release date then what was first expected. During the time that mom was down I spent a great deal of time searching the Word of God trying to discover His purpose in all of this. As for me, I never did find out what God's reasoning for allowing mom to suffer such pain, but I do know that He was with her every moment of her suffering and that He never left her side.
God is continuing to restore her health... it will be a long road back to recovery but at least she is at home and headed in the right direction.
As for me; just before Thanksgiving I ended up having two teeth pulled. Having these teeth pulled very much went against the dentists recommendations; however, I don't know anyone who has $3,000 to drop on some dental work.
Going a little further back for me... I began to get sick mid September... so the routine started. Go on antibiotics, steroids, breathing treatments, rest, and start over. The symptoms did dissipate long enough for me to have the teeth pulled; but then they came flying back with a vengeance.
I stumbled through Thanksgiving with even more antibiotics, steroids, and breathing treatments... but nothing, no getting better this time.
Right around Thanksgiving I plummeted; mostly into depression, I attribute this to my health continuing to nose dive with no relief.
At this point I was finding it very difficult to be thankful for the many blessings that had been and that were continuing to be bestowed upon me.
I was grateful... oh, let me tell you how very grateful I was to the many of you who poured out your love, prayers, gifts, and finances upon me.
How grateful I was to a young man in my church (Zach) who organized a group of about 40 from my church family to surprise me by standing outside my front door singing Christmas carols on a very warm Sunday afternoon. And then how grateful I was to each and everyone of them who came up and greeted me with hugs, food, and even some gifts.
I was just finding it extremely difficult to continue on with a thankful heart... I was done.
I have found that for me there is a difference between being thankful and being grateful. If I was to be thankful for the blessings bestowed upon me then I had to be thankful for my circumstances. My circumstances of always being the one in need, always being the one who is sick, always being the one who... (if you haven't read my entire blog then you will probably have a hard time understanding what I'm referring too).
I think it was the end of 2010... maybe a couple days before January 1st rolled around that I began to realize that my attitude certainly wasn't helping anything. By allowing this depression to take over my life I had stopped communicating with my Lord on a daily basis and had stopped depending on His Word, the Holy Bible, for my daily guidance.
Don't get me wrong, there are still many days that I find myself depressed, both in regards to my health and my circumstances; but the last several nights have been spent with me asking (even begging) my Lord to not let go of my hand.
In looking back over the last several months, He never did let go of my hand; it was me turning away from Him; being so frustrated with 'everything' that I just wanted to bury my head in anything but my Lord.
So as this new year started... so did a much stronger walk with my Lord; this time with a faith that is much more intense.
Here's a short review of last year in regards to my health...
There were two new medical diagnosis in 2010... stomach paralysis and burning tongue (mouth) syndrome.
Stomach paralysis means that my food takes much longer to digest then most; this explains much of the vomiting that I have experienced over the past year.
Burning tongue (mouth) syndrome (for me it's just the tongue)... one's tongue (most often the entire mouth) feels as though it is on fire; additionally, I've lost the ability to taste food.
Backing up a bit... it's interesting how God allows our paths to cross with each other even though sometimes years have past. That was the case with some friends of mine that I hadn't had contact with in probably 20 years. Fred and Kathy... to say that they have been through a great deal in their lives is putting it mildly. So I thought that I would send them a note... just in case, for some far off reason, they might know what I was talking about. And guess what, they did, they knew exactly what burning mouth syndrome was and what the best cure was. Thank you by the way for sending me a two month supply of this wonderful supplement. It hasn't completely disappeared, but the symptoms are much better.
Today was the first of many doctors appointments in 2011. This one was with a new doctor, an ENT... because I've had this horrible cough and laryngitis (for four months now) my pulmonologist wanted me to see him just to make sure everything was 'okay'.
After speaking with him for about 15 minutes he informs me that he is doing a 'Nasal Endoscopy' right there and then.... yipee! Just a few minutes later and it's all over... the results (and please, if any of you have ever heard of this before let me know).
Reflux Laryngitis... apparently the back side of my voice box (layrnx) has been severely damaged by acid reflux. I have had a hiatal hernia for a few years now (blamed on the severity of the bronchial coughing). He believes that the cause of this 'reflux laryngitis' damage is a combination of the hiatal hernia and almost daily vomiting (from stomach paralysis) over the last several months.
First new rule... minimal talking!
Second, he has started me on two new medications (if you are counting, that brings the total to 42 prescriptions per day). I am to see him again in 30 days... meanwhile, nothing to eat at least four hours before laying down (either to nap or sleep). And, nothing to drink one hour before laying down (even water), nor am I to have any cough drops one hour prior to laying down or while laying down.
If you know me, you know I live on water, probably 15 glasses a day... I think I drink at least 1 - 2 glasses during the night, this in an attempt at preventing a dry mouth and calming my cough.
I'm not really sure what this will mean in regards to how much sleep I will be getting from this night forward. I cough so violently through the night that I often find myself vomiting at least once every night. I have cough syrup yes, but often count on water and/or cough drops to get me through the rest of the night.
I will be back to see this doctor on February 7th to find out if anything has changed either for the better or the worse; it will be at this time that I also find out what the next step(s) will be.
I read the following on someones blog and am going to paraphrase it... but thought it perfect as this new year seems to be starting off with so little knowledge as to where it will take me.
Starting this new year has been like standing at the edge of the cold, deep, dark ocean. Looking at those big waves it's hard not to get scared, at times I've had to hold myself back from turning in the other direction and running as fast as I can.
What I've come to realize is that it's not about diving in to those cold scary waves... it's about keeping my eyes on Jesus and getting ready to walk on the water.
Matthew 14: 27-31
27 But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.”
28 And Peter answered Him and said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.”
29 So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus.
30 But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!”
31 And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”
At times I still find myself filled with doubt as I sit and wonder what the future holds... questioning how much longer I can go on with my health continuing to decline on what seems to be a regular basis.
But it's not about what I see as being possible... it's about what's possible with Him...
Matthew 19:26
26 But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
Once again, thank you to all who have spent time on their knees for me... and so much more!
With love,
Diana
Monday, December 13, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
November 18, 2010
This post is in direct response to the many who have asked for an update...
Friday, November 12th:
Mom came home from the hospital; she needed a few days to get comfortable but seems to be getting stronger with each passing day.
Last Friday also meant a dental appointment for me... I had been suffering from some semi-intense pain over the last few months. The x-rays showed that I needed two root canals... the two teeth were back to back.
One of the teeth bothered me significantly more than the other so that was the tooth that was pulled. Why did I have it pulled instead of having the root canal done? Hmm... I don't have dental insurance... Root Canal $790 vs Tooth Extraction $250... the decision wasn't difficult.
The dentist gave me seven stitches in an attempt at avoiding a dry socket. I've had many pulled teeth and with nearly each one came a dry socket; so I was really hoping this was going to work.
Going back on the 22nd to have the stitches removed.
I was started on a round of antibiotics to fight off any infection... I was personally hoping it would aid in my breathing.
Saturday, November 13th:
Saturday was a good day for the most part... Saturday evening the area of the extraction began to hurt.
Sunday, November 14th:
The pain was increasing and nothing seemed to bring relief.
Monday, November 15th:
Went to the dentist... an infection had set in (it appears that my body has built up a resistance to Zithromax aka Z Pack). I was started on Clindamycin and began to feel a bit better.
Tuesday, November 16th:
The new antibiotic continued to bring relief for me.
Mom is continuing to improve... but it appears that she tore her rotator cuff when she fell. She cannot lift her arm and it is causing her a significant amount of pain. She will most certainly need surgery to repair her shoulder; it's not a matter of if it's a matter of when.
She's been through this once before and if you've ever had it done you know it can be a very painful recovery. Regardless, it's something that will need to be done eventually.
Wednesday, November 17th:
Tuesday night was the first night that I slept through without cough syrup... these new antibiotics have started working on my breathing!
My oral pain continued to decrease in the area of the extracted tooth but began to increase in the tooth next to it that is in need of a root canal.
Mom has continued to improve and dad went to his daily compression therapy.
While at compression therapy dad began to experience chest pains and was sent to the hospital. Many tests were run and it was determined that he did NOT experience a heart attack. Instead, it was a reminder that he is not a healthy man; that he has congestive heart failure, and that there are many more times like this ahead of him. He was released and sent home Wednesday night.
Thursday, November 18th:
I was up most of last night (Wednesday night) in pain from my tooth... I called the dentist this morning and it's been decided that I will have my 2nd tooth pulled tomorrow.
By the way... the stitches seem to have done the trick... no dry socket! Let's see if the same holds true after this next tooth is pulled.
Friday, November 19th:
I think that I'm looking forward to getting this 2nd tooth pulled... I'll let you know later in the week.
Mom will be going to get her hair done tomorrow (this is the first time since the fall - 6 1/2 weeks ago). After that she is hoping to be attend the funeral for the very young daughter of a co-worker who passed away unexpectedly.
*****
I received some new lab results and even a new diagnosis... but those details will wait for later as I need to get some ice on my face in hopes of eliminating some of this pain.
But before I close, thank you to a wonderful friend who sent me a gift card a couple weeks ago. And more thanks for all the food that has come my way this week; another incredible delivery from Children's Hunger Fund, individuals who have dropped off bags of groceries, and then some amazing cooks who have made some wonderful meals...
*****
O, How I Love Jesus
That is a name I love to hear, I love to sing its worth!
It sounds like music in my ear, the sweetest name on earth.
O, How I Love Jesus; O, How I Love Jesus!
O, How I Love Jesus, because He first loved me.
*****
I John 4:19
19 We love Him because He first loved us.
With love,
Diana
Friday, November 12th:
Mom came home from the hospital; she needed a few days to get comfortable but seems to be getting stronger with each passing day.
Last Friday also meant a dental appointment for me... I had been suffering from some semi-intense pain over the last few months. The x-rays showed that I needed two root canals... the two teeth were back to back.
One of the teeth bothered me significantly more than the other so that was the tooth that was pulled. Why did I have it pulled instead of having the root canal done? Hmm... I don't have dental insurance... Root Canal $790 vs Tooth Extraction $250... the decision wasn't difficult.
The dentist gave me seven stitches in an attempt at avoiding a dry socket. I've had many pulled teeth and with nearly each one came a dry socket; so I was really hoping this was going to work.
Going back on the 22nd to have the stitches removed.
I was started on a round of antibiotics to fight off any infection... I was personally hoping it would aid in my breathing.
Saturday, November 13th:
Saturday was a good day for the most part... Saturday evening the area of the extraction began to hurt.
Sunday, November 14th:
The pain was increasing and nothing seemed to bring relief.
Monday, November 15th:
Went to the dentist... an infection had set in (it appears that my body has built up a resistance to Zithromax aka Z Pack). I was started on Clindamycin and began to feel a bit better.
Tuesday, November 16th:
The new antibiotic continued to bring relief for me.
Mom is continuing to improve... but it appears that she tore her rotator cuff when she fell. She cannot lift her arm and it is causing her a significant amount of pain. She will most certainly need surgery to repair her shoulder; it's not a matter of if it's a matter of when.
She's been through this once before and if you've ever had it done you know it can be a very painful recovery. Regardless, it's something that will need to be done eventually.
Wednesday, November 17th:
Tuesday night was the first night that I slept through without cough syrup... these new antibiotics have started working on my breathing!
My oral pain continued to decrease in the area of the extracted tooth but began to increase in the tooth next to it that is in need of a root canal.
Mom has continued to improve and dad went to his daily compression therapy.
While at compression therapy dad began to experience chest pains and was sent to the hospital. Many tests were run and it was determined that he did NOT experience a heart attack. Instead, it was a reminder that he is not a healthy man; that he has congestive heart failure, and that there are many more times like this ahead of him. He was released and sent home Wednesday night.
Thursday, November 18th:
I was up most of last night (Wednesday night) in pain from my tooth... I called the dentist this morning and it's been decided that I will have my 2nd tooth pulled tomorrow.
By the way... the stitches seem to have done the trick... no dry socket! Let's see if the same holds true after this next tooth is pulled.
Friday, November 19th:
I think that I'm looking forward to getting this 2nd tooth pulled... I'll let you know later in the week.
Mom will be going to get her hair done tomorrow (this is the first time since the fall - 6 1/2 weeks ago). After that she is hoping to be attend the funeral for the very young daughter of a co-worker who passed away unexpectedly.
*****
I received some new lab results and even a new diagnosis... but those details will wait for later as I need to get some ice on my face in hopes of eliminating some of this pain.
But before I close, thank you to a wonderful friend who sent me a gift card a couple weeks ago. And more thanks for all the food that has come my way this week; another incredible delivery from Children's Hunger Fund, individuals who have dropped off bags of groceries, and then some amazing cooks who have made some wonderful meals...
*****
O, How I Love Jesus
That is a name I love to hear, I love to sing its worth!
It sounds like music in my ear, the sweetest name on earth.
O, How I Love Jesus; O, How I Love Jesus!
O, How I Love Jesus, because He first loved me.
*****
I John 4:19
19 We love Him because He first loved us.
With love,
Diana
Saturday, November 6, 2010
November 11, 2010
It has been almost two weeks since mom has experienced the worst day since her fall. Ever since that day she began to slowly improve.
Aunt Shirley arrived one week ago; she has been a huge help to my father and a blessing to my mother. Although, as you will read on, the necessity of her being with them has only just begun... her assistance is needed now more then ever.
This next bit of news came as expectantly to us as I'm sure it will to you...
God has certainly heard and answered our prayers... in fact, I will tell you that He has allowed for a miracle. To the many of you who have prayed, thank you... God is good and His timing is perfect.
Mom is going home tomorrow (Friday, November 12th)... yes, you read correctly. She is being released from the hospital tomorrow and will be heading home.
If you remember reading a couple weeks ago she wasn't going to be released until the end of this month at the earliest and quite possibly the end of the year.
She still has a long road of recovery ahead of her; but we are rejoicing in the fact that a new chapter in her life is beginning tomorrow as she is released from the hospital.
Please join us in giving all the praise and glory to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ for this miraculous healing in mom's body.
*****
As for me, I went to the doctor yesterday... chest x-rays were taken and the good news is that I don't have pneumonia.
More good news for my family and Jeralynn; the doctor won't allow me to start on the 'heavy' dose of steroids (100mg prednisone). I say good news for them because I have not been the most pleasant person to be around lately; my attitude problem is a result of the most recent doses of steroids that I have been on.
That isn't good news for me... that means I continue to live with this COPD flare-up (exacerbation). The type of COPD that I have is chronic obstructive bronchitis... meaning constant bronchitis and the cough that goes along with it. This is the same cough that caused the cervical spinal injuries and required the many surgeries that have gone along with it.
I'm sure you have heard that too many antibiotics aren't good for a person... eventually they won't work. That is the case for this bout of bronchitis... they want to hold off any giving me additional antibiotics in case this turns into pneumonia and antibiotics become necessary.
My doctor is holding off on the 'heavy' steroids until she gets my blood work back... steroids play havoc on diabetics and do a number on one's bone density. She feels that right now the risk of going on prednisone is greater then the possible benefits.
So now I will wait... wait until the blood results come back and will continue to rest, sleep, and rest some more until this exacerbation slowly works it's way out of my body.
2 Corinthians 1:3-7
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ.
6 Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation.
7 And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation.
With love,
Diana
Aunt Shirley arrived one week ago; she has been a huge help to my father and a blessing to my mother. Although, as you will read on, the necessity of her being with them has only just begun... her assistance is needed now more then ever.
This next bit of news came as expectantly to us as I'm sure it will to you...
God has certainly heard and answered our prayers... in fact, I will tell you that He has allowed for a miracle. To the many of you who have prayed, thank you... God is good and His timing is perfect.
Mom is going home tomorrow (Friday, November 12th)... yes, you read correctly. She is being released from the hospital tomorrow and will be heading home.
If you remember reading a couple weeks ago she wasn't going to be released until the end of this month at the earliest and quite possibly the end of the year.
She still has a long road of recovery ahead of her; but we are rejoicing in the fact that a new chapter in her life is beginning tomorrow as she is released from the hospital.
Please join us in giving all the praise and glory to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ for this miraculous healing in mom's body.
*****
As for me, I went to the doctor yesterday... chest x-rays were taken and the good news is that I don't have pneumonia.
More good news for my family and Jeralynn; the doctor won't allow me to start on the 'heavy' dose of steroids (100mg prednisone). I say good news for them because I have not been the most pleasant person to be around lately; my attitude problem is a result of the most recent doses of steroids that I have been on.
That isn't good news for me... that means I continue to live with this COPD flare-up (exacerbation). The type of COPD that I have is chronic obstructive bronchitis... meaning constant bronchitis and the cough that goes along with it. This is the same cough that caused the cervical spinal injuries and required the many surgeries that have gone along with it.
I'm sure you have heard that too many antibiotics aren't good for a person... eventually they won't work. That is the case for this bout of bronchitis... they want to hold off any giving me additional antibiotics in case this turns into pneumonia and antibiotics become necessary.
My doctor is holding off on the 'heavy' steroids until she gets my blood work back... steroids play havoc on diabetics and do a number on one's bone density. She feels that right now the risk of going on prednisone is greater then the possible benefits.
So now I will wait... wait until the blood results come back and will continue to rest, sleep, and rest some more until this exacerbation slowly works it's way out of my body.
2 Corinthians 1:3-7
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ.
6 Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation.
7 And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation.
With love,
Diana
Thursday, November 4, 2010
November 4, 2010
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow
At this time in my life it is only because He lives that I can face tomorrow. For me it's one minute at a time... sometimes it's making it through one second at a time.
If you have a family member in a rehabilitation hospital or convalescent home please, please make your presence known to the hospital staff. Stand in defense of your loved one, make surprise visits two - three times a day; if you suspect anything, investigate it... don't let anything go unnoticed.
I don't have the emotional energy to go into details; but just know, even the finest of establishments can reach their limits. Frustrations are then taken out on the most frail, the weakest patients. Patients who either don't have a voice or who can't properly communicate are the most vulnerable.
I have spent the last few days being angry, furious, not understanding and not wanting to understand. I'm not angry because my parents are ill... I'm angry because I am not physically well enough to fly down to Florida and be by my mother's side during the day and sleep by her side at night.
God and I have spent a lot of time talking these last few days... or should I say, I've been doing the talking (the yelling, the screaming) and haven't paused to listen to God's response.
Psalm 55: 1-2
1 Give ear to my prayer, O God, And do not hide Yourself from my supplication.
2 Attend to me, and hear me; I am restless in my complaint, and moan noisily.
Saturday was the single worse day mom has had since first falling three weeks ago. The last few posts have pretty much explained her day to day living so I won't spend time repeating myself.
My father has become extremely tired and is not doing well himself. He wears a Nitroglycerin Patch so that he doesn't feel any pain... however, the chest pains have increased over the last several days to the point of him experiencing significant pain even with the patch. In fact he has had to miss his compression therapy because of lacking the strength he needs to get there.
My parents health has deteriorated to the point that we have asked my aunt to fly out to Florida on Friday. I'm thanking God for my Aunt Shirley, this is my fathers sister... she is an angel sent from heaven. Auntie is in her 70's herself but if she can sit with my mom and constantly remind my mom that she isn't alone this will be a tremendous help.
Hopefully, this will allow dad to take the time he needs to rest and slowly get back up on his feet. He will continue to see mom several times a day but this way he can rest when he needs to. If dad ends up back in the hospital (which won't surprise any of us) my sister will catch the first flight out of Washington so that she can be there with auntie.
*****
As for me, I'm struggling to keep my head above water. I'm still experiencing side effects from the few steroids that I was on... extreme mood swings, swollen face and ankles, and I've almost got a full beard going...lol.
The problem is that I need to go on a much stronger dose of steroids... (Prednisone 100 mg/daily) that's not something that I want to do at this point. Eventually I will need to give in and get on them... it's becoming more and more difficult to breathe, the coughing is causing my neck to swell and well.... the other problems would fall into the 'TMI' category.
Jeralynn came over last night so that we could talk (so that I could talk). After she sat quietly listening to me ramble and ramble (that's all I seem to be able to do) she told me that I needed to stop and take time out for myself.
Listen to christian music she told me, listen to your cd's over and over again. Listen to PR's (Pastor Ron's) sermons over and over again ~ http://granadahillscc.org/category/sermons/. Spend time doing things just for me; things that will calm my spirit, clear my head, and allow my body to start healing from this endless bout of bronchitis.
Okay, I think I can do that... in fact, I've spent the last hour or so listening to the greatest Pastor in the world deliver a wonderful message entitled 'Abba Will Wipe Away All Your Tears'.
And finally, a praise report, yes in the midst of all of this I have something incredible to thank my Lord for. I'm not sure that I am at liberty to give any names so I will hold off on that for now... but please join me in giving thanks to my Lord for an answer to prayer. Tuesday when getting the mail an envelope fell to ground... I opened it to find a check, in fact a check that was written out for a large amount of money. 'Medications for November & December' was written in the memo line... I broke down into tears praising my Lord for His goodness. (This of course caused me to start coughing until I was vomiting and unable to breath... after a nebulizer treatment I was finally able to calm down).
As I fell asleep that night I was able to rest in the arms of God knowing He will continue to provide for my every need.
It's been almost 6 years since I decided to put my trust in God and I don't regret that decision for one second. If you have been reading my blogs you have seen that when God became the Lord of my life He didn't promise an easy road for me. In fact, for me, my life turned upside down the minute I decided to follow Christ. But you know what, I wouldn't have it any other way... the circumstances of my life may be out of my control. But I wouldn't trade the peace and joy that I have within for all the money in the world.
I will praise the name of the Lord and I will not be afraid. He will stop my feet from stumbling and He will allow me to walk in the path of His light.
Psalm 56:8 - 13
8 You number my wanderings; You put my tears into Your bottle; are they not in Your book?
9 When I cry out to You, then my enemies will turn back; this I know, because God is for me.
10 In God (I will praise His word), in the LORD (I will praise His word),
11 In God I have put my trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?
12 Vows made to You are binding upon me, O God; I will render praises to You,
13 For You have delivered my soul from death. Have You not kept my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of the living?
With Love,
Diana
I don't have the emotional energy to go into details; but just know, even the finest of establishments can reach their limits. Frustrations are then taken out on the most frail, the weakest patients. Patients who either don't have a voice or who can't properly communicate are the most vulnerable.
I have spent the last few days being angry, furious, not understanding and not wanting to understand. I'm not angry because my parents are ill... I'm angry because I am not physically well enough to fly down to Florida and be by my mother's side during the day and sleep by her side at night.
God and I have spent a lot of time talking these last few days... or should I say, I've been doing the talking (the yelling, the screaming) and haven't paused to listen to God's response.
Psalm 55: 1-2
1 Give ear to my prayer, O God, And do not hide Yourself from my supplication.
2 Attend to me, and hear me; I am restless in my complaint, and moan noisily.
Saturday was the single worse day mom has had since first falling three weeks ago. The last few posts have pretty much explained her day to day living so I won't spend time repeating myself.
My father has become extremely tired and is not doing well himself. He wears a Nitroglycerin Patch so that he doesn't feel any pain... however, the chest pains have increased over the last several days to the point of him experiencing significant pain even with the patch. In fact he has had to miss his compression therapy because of lacking the strength he needs to get there.
My parents health has deteriorated to the point that we have asked my aunt to fly out to Florida on Friday. I'm thanking God for my Aunt Shirley, this is my fathers sister... she is an angel sent from heaven. Auntie is in her 70's herself but if she can sit with my mom and constantly remind my mom that she isn't alone this will be a tremendous help.
Hopefully, this will allow dad to take the time he needs to rest and slowly get back up on his feet. He will continue to see mom several times a day but this way he can rest when he needs to. If dad ends up back in the hospital (which won't surprise any of us) my sister will catch the first flight out of Washington so that she can be there with auntie.
*****
As for me, I'm struggling to keep my head above water. I'm still experiencing side effects from the few steroids that I was on... extreme mood swings, swollen face and ankles, and I've almost got a full beard going...lol.
The problem is that I need to go on a much stronger dose of steroids... (Prednisone 100 mg/daily) that's not something that I want to do at this point. Eventually I will need to give in and get on them... it's becoming more and more difficult to breathe, the coughing is causing my neck to swell and well.... the other problems would fall into the 'TMI' category.
Jeralynn came over last night so that we could talk (so that I could talk). After she sat quietly listening to me ramble and ramble (that's all I seem to be able to do) she told me that I needed to stop and take time out for myself.
Listen to christian music she told me, listen to your cd's over and over again. Listen to PR's (Pastor Ron's) sermons over and over again ~ http://granadahillscc.org/category/sermons/. Spend time doing things just for me; things that will calm my spirit, clear my head, and allow my body to start healing from this endless bout of bronchitis.
Okay, I think I can do that... in fact, I've spent the last hour or so listening to the greatest Pastor in the world deliver a wonderful message entitled 'Abba Will Wipe Away All Your Tears'.
And finally, a praise report, yes in the midst of all of this I have something incredible to thank my Lord for. I'm not sure that I am at liberty to give any names so I will hold off on that for now... but please join me in giving thanks to my Lord for an answer to prayer. Tuesday when getting the mail an envelope fell to ground... I opened it to find a check, in fact a check that was written out for a large amount of money. 'Medications for November & December' was written in the memo line... I broke down into tears praising my Lord for His goodness. (This of course caused me to start coughing until I was vomiting and unable to breath... after a nebulizer treatment I was finally able to calm down).
As I fell asleep that night I was able to rest in the arms of God knowing He will continue to provide for my every need.
It's been almost 6 years since I decided to put my trust in God and I don't regret that decision for one second. If you have been reading my blogs you have seen that when God became the Lord of my life He didn't promise an easy road for me. In fact, for me, my life turned upside down the minute I decided to follow Christ. But you know what, I wouldn't have it any other way... the circumstances of my life may be out of my control. But I wouldn't trade the peace and joy that I have within for all the money in the world.
I will praise the name of the Lord and I will not be afraid. He will stop my feet from stumbling and He will allow me to walk in the path of His light.
Psalm 56:8 - 13
8 You number my wanderings; You put my tears into Your bottle; are they not in Your book?
9 When I cry out to You, then my enemies will turn back; this I know, because God is for me.
10 In God (I will praise His word), in the LORD (I will praise His word),
11 In God I have put my trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?
12 Vows made to You are binding upon me, O God; I will render praises to You,
13 For You have delivered my soul from death. Have You not kept my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of the living?
With Love,
Diana
Saturday, October 30, 2010
October 30, 2010
As for me I have something to be so very thankful for today ~ an answer to prayer!
On Wednesday I awoke to find a box had been delivered to my door. I wasn't expecting anything so I didn't open it until Thursday evening. What a wonderful answer to prayer... a box full of nebulizer treatments. For those who aren't familiar with what a nebulizer is; it's one of my life supporting treatments. It clears my airways when nothing else will work... it's often my last step before running to the emergency room or calling 911.
Why is this an answer to prayer for me... because Wednesday night I had used my last two vials thus leaving my supply depleted. The price to purchase a new supply was going to cost me close to $200; since I don't have that kind of money I probably would have waited until things became really bad and gone to the hospital.
I'm still not sure why this showed up at my door... I haven't taken the time to research the "why's"... I just haven't been feeling well enough to even want to figure it out at this point.
As it stands right now, I will continue to praise my Lord for His goodness and mercy. Once again His blessings continue to pour out upon me; definitely not in my timing, but most certainly in His.
Isaiah 55:8-9
8 “ For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.
9 “ For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.
With this package arriving at my door it allowed a sliver of light, a sliver of hope, just enough to know that my Lord remains in control and all things will be provided for and come to completion in His timing.
It doesn't appear that this most recent round of antibiotics and steroids did anything to improve my condition. Come Monday morning if there isn't a significant improvement then I will once again call the doctor and we will decide what the next step is.
It's now going on 7 weeks that I've been down with bronchitis...
In addition to bronchitis, side effects to the antibiotics are beginning to surface (I will spare you the exciting details of these side effects).
When a diabetic is sick blood sugars tend to run high; add steroids to the mix and it sends my sugars soaring... this causes the nerve damage in my feet (neuropathy) and nerve damage in my abdomen (stomach paralysis) to act up. Higher sugars also mean that I'm so very tired and all I want to do is sleep.
High sugars also mean an increased usage of diabetic medications... thus causing my supply to dwindle faster than it normally would. But as God showed this past week, He will provide for my needs .
Unfortunately, high sugars sometimes mean that a crash (very low sugars) can come out of the blue... just as happened last night. My sugars had dropped to the mid 30's; I think that last night was the closest I've ever come to passing out. Once again, something to be thankful to God for as both my children, son-in-law, and grandchildren were at home with me when this happened.
I'm truly looking forward to seeing how God is going to provide the medications that are needed between now and the first of the year...
*****
Dad and Mom...
I am once again going to share some information so that you will know how to pray. I'm not putting this information out for any other reason except for you to be able to pray more specifically for my parents.
As a side note I wanted to share my parents ages with you... I think their ages just might come as a surprise to some and even shock others. For the most part, people of their age groups do not experience what they are going through. I'm hoping this will help you better understand the reason this is all so shocking to us.
Mom is a very young 69 years old, in fact she just celebrated her birthday the beginning of October.
Dad is a very young 71 years old and will be celebrating his 72nd birthday at the end of November.
Mom's condition remains extremely poor... She remains heavily medicated, in fact, if they needed to further medicate her I believe the next step would be a drug induced coma.
When praying for dad please pray that God will continue to provide him with strength. Not only for his heart but also the strength (mentally and physically) to assist in caring for my mother each day. Pray that his mind will be still at night and that he will be able to have a solid time of sleep; one spent without continually waking up in worry over my mother.
Before moving on to my mom... remember that both of my parents were out here (in California) with me in April. My mother spent four weeks taking care of me during my recovery from cervical spinal surgery and my father spent four very busy weeks being Mr. Fix-it... he did everything from plumbing repair to garage clean up to remodeling a room in my house so the boys (my grandsons) would have a special room in the house when they come over to play and / or spend the night (this only happens when Ricky is home).
Now onto mom...
Have you ever cared for an end of life alzheimer's patient? They ask the same questions over and over again. There is no rhyme or reason for most of their questions; most of their time is spent highly confused and frustrated over not understanding. They are no longer able to care for themselves and need a caregiver for their simplest daily needs.
The above description is that of my mothers daily life... without going into details this lifestyle is exhausting for all concerned, including my mother.
Believe it or not there is good news in all of this; with the amount of medication that she is now on it has allowed the last few days to be relatively pain free. That alone is great reason for us to be thankful to God; that through medication she is no longer crying out in pain. Please join our family in praising God for this answer to prayer.
It's easier for me to deal with this then I can imagine it is for my father... I'm only able to speak with mom over the phone. I've not yet seen any pictures of her; but I'm sure once I do the reality of this will set in much more then it already has for me.
As for dad, he is living this day in and day out... I'm sure that at times it seems that this may all be much more then he can or wants to handle.
The one thing I will say; my sister and I are so very proud of the fact that he has been right by her side every step of the way.
Thank you again for the very many prayers and all the thoughts and well wishes!
Diana
On Wednesday I awoke to find a box had been delivered to my door. I wasn't expecting anything so I didn't open it until Thursday evening. What a wonderful answer to prayer... a box full of nebulizer treatments. For those who aren't familiar with what a nebulizer is; it's one of my life supporting treatments. It clears my airways when nothing else will work... it's often my last step before running to the emergency room or calling 911.
Why is this an answer to prayer for me... because Wednesday night I had used my last two vials thus leaving my supply depleted. The price to purchase a new supply was going to cost me close to $200; since I don't have that kind of money I probably would have waited until things became really bad and gone to the hospital.
I'm still not sure why this showed up at my door... I haven't taken the time to research the "why's"... I just haven't been feeling well enough to even want to figure it out at this point.
As it stands right now, I will continue to praise my Lord for His goodness and mercy. Once again His blessings continue to pour out upon me; definitely not in my timing, but most certainly in His.
Isaiah 55:8-9
8 “ For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.
9 “ For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.
With this package arriving at my door it allowed a sliver of light, a sliver of hope, just enough to know that my Lord remains in control and all things will be provided for and come to completion in His timing.
It doesn't appear that this most recent round of antibiotics and steroids did anything to improve my condition. Come Monday morning if there isn't a significant improvement then I will once again call the doctor and we will decide what the next step is.
It's now going on 7 weeks that I've been down with bronchitis...
In addition to bronchitis, side effects to the antibiotics are beginning to surface (I will spare you the exciting details of these side effects).
When a diabetic is sick blood sugars tend to run high; add steroids to the mix and it sends my sugars soaring... this causes the nerve damage in my feet (neuropathy) and nerve damage in my abdomen (stomach paralysis) to act up. Higher sugars also mean that I'm so very tired and all I want to do is sleep.
High sugars also mean an increased usage of diabetic medications... thus causing my supply to dwindle faster than it normally would. But as God showed this past week, He will provide for my needs .
Unfortunately, high sugars sometimes mean that a crash (very low sugars) can come out of the blue... just as happened last night. My sugars had dropped to the mid 30's; I think that last night was the closest I've ever come to passing out. Once again, something to be thankful to God for as both my children, son-in-law, and grandchildren were at home with me when this happened.
I'm truly looking forward to seeing how God is going to provide the medications that are needed between now and the first of the year...
*****
Dad and Mom...
I am once again going to share some information so that you will know how to pray. I'm not putting this information out for any other reason except for you to be able to pray more specifically for my parents.
As a side note I wanted to share my parents ages with you... I think their ages just might come as a surprise to some and even shock others. For the most part, people of their age groups do not experience what they are going through. I'm hoping this will help you better understand the reason this is all so shocking to us.
Mom is a very young 69 years old, in fact she just celebrated her birthday the beginning of October.
Dad is a very young 71 years old and will be celebrating his 72nd birthday at the end of November.
Mom's condition remains extremely poor... She remains heavily medicated, in fact, if they needed to further medicate her I believe the next step would be a drug induced coma.
When praying for dad please pray that God will continue to provide him with strength. Not only for his heart but also the strength (mentally and physically) to assist in caring for my mother each day. Pray that his mind will be still at night and that he will be able to have a solid time of sleep; one spent without continually waking up in worry over my mother.
Before moving on to my mom... remember that both of my parents were out here (in California) with me in April. My mother spent four weeks taking care of me during my recovery from cervical spinal surgery and my father spent four very busy weeks being Mr. Fix-it... he did everything from plumbing repair to garage clean up to remodeling a room in my house so the boys (my grandsons) would have a special room in the house when they come over to play and / or spend the night (this only happens when Ricky is home).
Now onto mom...
Have you ever cared for an end of life alzheimer's patient? They ask the same questions over and over again. There is no rhyme or reason for most of their questions; most of their time is spent highly confused and frustrated over not understanding. They are no longer able to care for themselves and need a caregiver for their simplest daily needs.
The above description is that of my mothers daily life... without going into details this lifestyle is exhausting for all concerned, including my mother.
Believe it or not there is good news in all of this; with the amount of medication that she is now on it has allowed the last few days to be relatively pain free. That alone is great reason for us to be thankful to God; that through medication she is no longer crying out in pain. Please join our family in praising God for this answer to prayer.
It's easier for me to deal with this then I can imagine it is for my father... I'm only able to speak with mom over the phone. I've not yet seen any pictures of her; but I'm sure once I do the reality of this will set in much more then it already has for me.
As for dad, he is living this day in and day out... I'm sure that at times it seems that this may all be much more then he can or wants to handle.
The one thing I will say; my sister and I are so very proud of the fact that he has been right by her side every step of the way.
Thank you again for the very many prayers and all the thoughts and well wishes!
Diana
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
October 26, 2010
So much to share; I'm not sure where to begin!
Moving forward I will refer to these times in life as 'Faith Strengthening Exercises' or FSE's...
I've been in bed the last several days; still trying to fight off this bronchial COPD flare up. In other words, I've had a steady case of bronchitis for the last 6 weeks; some days are worse then others, but for the most part I remain thankful that God has allowed me to stay out of the hospital.
I've begun yet another course of antibiotics and steroids... I haven't noticed a difference yet but am holding out hope that this will work!
And then for the best news yet...
For the last 7 - 10 days the price of my med's had begun to go up... the best I could understand was that it had something to do with Medicare coverage (or the changes within). I picked up the med's that I absolutely needed and figured I could deal with the others once I began to regain some strength.
But then today as I was calling to inquire about another needed medication I received the best news of all... As of October 25th (Monday) I hit the doughnut hole! What does this mean... from now until the end of the year I no longer have prescription coverage. For someone like me who is on 20 - 30 prescriptions each month; it means no more prescriptions until January 1, 2011.
It looks like I need to spend some time making phone calls tomorrow (whether I feel like it or not). My priority for tomorrow will be trying to figure out how I can get some of the meds that I must have to live for the next two months (11 of which are for diabetes and breathing - COPD).
*****
I received a card in the mail from a dear friend on Saturday... inside the card she gave me a scripture verse. At first I didn't think much of it... don't get me wrong, I love getting cards and treasure the Word of God along with the many scriptures within. But at the time of receiving the card and scripture it didn't pop out at me as something to hold onto tightly.
But as this week has progressed (with news of my medications and then more news about my mother) that specific scripture has become increasingly meaningful to me.
Isaiah 28-31
28 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable.
29 He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength.
30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall,
31 But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.
*****
My father is doing well for the most part... he has only had one bad day since my mothers fall and for that we are all thankful. This is so much more magnificent when you remember that he is still operating on only a portion of his heart and five of the arteries connected to his functioning heart are 100% blocked.
He has written a short note for me to share with you.
I went to my cardiologist on October 22... as he checked me over we began to talk about my stay in the hospital. The doctor said that he did not expect me to walk out of the hospital. Neither my cardiologist nor my electrical physiologist expected me to survive the procedures that were done. In fact Dr. Freeman refused to do a procedure because he didn't think I would pull through it. As I was talking to Dr. Schreibman he asked me to wait while he e-mailed Dr. Freeman to tell him how good I was doing. He also posted a picture because he was so excited to see the results of what God did for me. Dr. Schreibman and I know that it was just the Lord that got me through this ordeal. Thank you all for your prayers, Frank
As for my mother, the news is not as good...
She did have one day that was good... good for her means having had a bearable day; one that wasn't spent crying out in pain. Regardless, we are thankful for that one day.
Dad has watched her over the last two weeks (it seems as though it has been so much longer than that). Listening to the doctors and nurses tell him that she shouldn't be in as much pain as she is in, knowing that my mother is not one to complain, and watching her in extreme agony, my father decided to do his own research.
He spent a great deal of time on the computer researching pelvic breaks and reasons that could be causing the amount of distress mom seems to be in.
On Sunday he went to the rehab hospital with a stack of research papers in hand... within a couple hours my mother was in an ambulance on her way back to the hospital.
After more scans the results came back; in addition to the three breaks in the pelvic there was an additional bone that broke when she fell. The name of this bone is Sacrum and it too has broken in three places; this is the cause of her extreme and intense pain.
In doing some of my own research in an attempt at explaining the intensity of the pain she is in, this seemed to be the best description.
The sacrum is a triangle-shaped bone made up of five fused (joined) vertebrae. The vertebrae are the bones that make up your spine. The sacrum is found at the end of the spine, with the hip bones on each side.
There are many
nerves that run directly through these broken bones... most specifically the sacral nerves.
Again, whenever she moves, the muscles and ligaments that surround these bones go into spasms... this causing her indescribable pain.
She is being sedated as much as possible; but even with this sedation most of her day is spent crying and even screaming out in pain.
The pain and sedation medications have their own side effects such as slurred speech, forgetfulness, hallucinations, and the list goes on.
Now that it is clear as to what is causing this extreme pain, the doctors are estimating 3 - 4 more weeks of this pain. Her pain won't begin to subside until the bones have had a chance to heal.
Unless God begins a miraculous healing in my mother she will remain in the rehabilitation hospital until Christmas.
I think the worse part is that throughout all of this she must continue to undergo physical therapy. It's important that she continue to work on strengthening her muscles so that she will eventually be able to get back on her feet.
With this information I would once again ask that you pray for her... that God would fill her with peace and flood her with joy.
Additionally, that God would continue to provide my father with the strength he needs to keep up with his heart therapy and then be able to tend to my mother.
As I have mentioned before, I don't have answers as to why she is experiencing the pain she is in. The fact is that the world we live in is not perfect... it is a world consumed by sin.
My mother has received the free gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ. With this knowledge we (all of us) can rest knowing that there will be a time when she will no longer be in pain. All who have received the gift of salvation can look forward to an eternity in which our old bodies (some full of pain) will pass away and there will no longer be pain, tears, or sorrow.
For those who have not yet made a decision to follow Christ and have Him be the Lord of your life... for you, according to the Bible, there is no hope of looking forward to a time where there is no longer pain, tears, or sorrow. In fact eternity will be spent in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone (hell).
Revelation 21:3-8
3And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them.
4He will wipe away every tear from their eyes and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.
5And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new" And He said, "Write, for these words are faithful and true."
6Then He said to me, "It is done I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost.
7"He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son.
8"But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death."
I'm continuing to share my Lord, my Jesus with all of you because where you spend eternity is the only thing that matters in this life.
If you have any questions regarding my Lord or the things I am writing about I would be happy to speak with you.
And finally, thank you for the many prayers that have gone up on behalf of my family. Thank you to all who have called, sent cards, letters, and emails with words of encouragement and to let us know that you care.
If you would like to send a card to mom here is her address:
Sunset Lake Health and Rehabilitation Center
Mildrene Young
832 Sunset Lake Blvd.
Venice, FL 34292
With love,
Diana
Moving forward I will refer to these times in life as 'Faith Strengthening Exercises' or FSE's...
I've been in bed the last several days; still trying to fight off this bronchial COPD flare up. In other words, I've had a steady case of bronchitis for the last 6 weeks; some days are worse then others, but for the most part I remain thankful that God has allowed me to stay out of the hospital.
I've begun yet another course of antibiotics and steroids... I haven't noticed a difference yet but am holding out hope that this will work!
And then for the best news yet...
For the last 7 - 10 days the price of my med's had begun to go up... the best I could understand was that it had something to do with Medicare coverage (or the changes within). I picked up the med's that I absolutely needed and figured I could deal with the others once I began to regain some strength.
But then today as I was calling to inquire about another needed medication I received the best news of all... As of October 25th (Monday) I hit the doughnut hole! What does this mean... from now until the end of the year I no longer have prescription coverage. For someone like me who is on 20 - 30 prescriptions each month; it means no more prescriptions until January 1, 2011.
It looks like I need to spend some time making phone calls tomorrow (whether I feel like it or not). My priority for tomorrow will be trying to figure out how I can get some of the meds that I must have to live for the next two months (11 of which are for diabetes and breathing - COPD).
*****
I received a card in the mail from a dear friend on Saturday... inside the card she gave me a scripture verse. At first I didn't think much of it... don't get me wrong, I love getting cards and treasure the Word of God along with the many scriptures within. But at the time of receiving the card and scripture it didn't pop out at me as something to hold onto tightly.
But as this week has progressed (with news of my medications and then more news about my mother) that specific scripture has become increasingly meaningful to me.
Isaiah 28-31
28 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable.
29 He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength.
30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall,
31 But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.
*****
My father is doing well for the most part... he has only had one bad day since my mothers fall and for that we are all thankful. This is so much more magnificent when you remember that he is still operating on only a portion of his heart and five of the arteries connected to his functioning heart are 100% blocked.
He has written a short note for me to share with you.
I went to my cardiologist on October 22... as he checked me over we began to talk about my stay in the hospital. The doctor said that he did not expect me to walk out of the hospital. Neither my cardiologist nor my electrical physiologist expected me to survive the procedures that were done. In fact Dr. Freeman refused to do a procedure because he didn't think I would pull through it. As I was talking to Dr. Schreibman he asked me to wait while he e-mailed Dr. Freeman to tell him how good I was doing. He also posted a picture because he was so excited to see the results of what God did for me. Dr. Schreibman and I know that it was just the Lord that got me through this ordeal. Thank you all for your prayers, Frank
As for my mother, the news is not as good...
She did have one day that was good... good for her means having had a bearable day; one that wasn't spent crying out in pain. Regardless, we are thankful for that one day.
Dad has watched her over the last two weeks (it seems as though it has been so much longer than that). Listening to the doctors and nurses tell him that she shouldn't be in as much pain as she is in, knowing that my mother is not one to complain, and watching her in extreme agony, my father decided to do his own research.
He spent a great deal of time on the computer researching pelvic breaks and reasons that could be causing the amount of distress mom seems to be in.
On Sunday he went to the rehab hospital with a stack of research papers in hand... within a couple hours my mother was in an ambulance on her way back to the hospital.
After more scans the results came back; in addition to the three breaks in the pelvic there was an additional bone that broke when she fell. The name of this bone is Sacrum and it too has broken in three places; this is the cause of her extreme and intense pain.
In doing some of my own research in an attempt at explaining the intensity of the pain she is in, this seemed to be the best description.
The sacrum is a triangle-shaped bone made up of five fused (joined) vertebrae. The vertebrae are the bones that make up your spine. The sacrum is found at the end of the spine, with the hip bones on each side.
There are many
nerves that run directly through these broken bones... most specifically the sacral nerves.Again, whenever she moves, the muscles and ligaments that surround these bones go into spasms... this causing her indescribable pain.
She is being sedated as much as possible; but even with this sedation most of her day is spent crying and even screaming out in pain.
The pain and sedation medications have their own side effects such as slurred speech, forgetfulness, hallucinations, and the list goes on.
Now that it is clear as to what is causing this extreme pain, the doctors are estimating 3 - 4 more weeks of this pain. Her pain won't begin to subside until the bones have had a chance to heal.
Unless God begins a miraculous healing in my mother she will remain in the rehabilitation hospital until Christmas.
I think the worse part is that throughout all of this she must continue to undergo physical therapy. It's important that she continue to work on strengthening her muscles so that she will eventually be able to get back on her feet.
With this information I would once again ask that you pray for her... that God would fill her with peace and flood her with joy.
Additionally, that God would continue to provide my father with the strength he needs to keep up with his heart therapy and then be able to tend to my mother.
As I have mentioned before, I don't have answers as to why she is experiencing the pain she is in. The fact is that the world we live in is not perfect... it is a world consumed by sin.
My mother has received the free gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ. With this knowledge we (all of us) can rest knowing that there will be a time when she will no longer be in pain. All who have received the gift of salvation can look forward to an eternity in which our old bodies (some full of pain) will pass away and there will no longer be pain, tears, or sorrow.
For those who have not yet made a decision to follow Christ and have Him be the Lord of your life... for you, according to the Bible, there is no hope of looking forward to a time where there is no longer pain, tears, or sorrow. In fact eternity will be spent in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone (hell).
Revelation 21:3-8
3And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them.
4He will wipe away every tear from their eyes and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.
5And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new" And He said, "Write, for these words are faithful and true."
6Then He said to me, "It is done I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost.
7"He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son.
8"But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death."
I'm continuing to share my Lord, my Jesus with all of you because where you spend eternity is the only thing that matters in this life.
If you have any questions regarding my Lord or the things I am writing about I would be happy to speak with you.
And finally, thank you for the many prayers that have gone up on behalf of my family. Thank you to all who have called, sent cards, letters, and emails with words of encouragement and to let us know that you care.
If you would like to send a card to mom here is her address:
Sunset Lake Health and Rehabilitation Center
Mildrene Young
832 Sunset Lake Blvd.
Venice, FL 34292
With love,
Diana
Monday, October 18, 2010
October 18, 2010 - Mom
I'm so excited! I just had a 15 minute conversation with my mother... It was about an hour after one of the 'spasms', but I was able to speak with her, laugh with her, and even cry with her.
She is still in horrible amounts of pain... the doctors are comparing her pain to that of a woman at the peak of labor pain.
I remember back to that (there were no epidurals when I had my children)... my beautiful, wonderful daughter provided me with 40 hours of entertainment back then... I thought it would never end.
It's so hard for me to know that mom is experiencing this pain day after day. At least with a baby you know there will eventually be an end to the labor. I will say that on a scale of 1 - 100; she has moved up from a 1 to a 2 in regards to this process as a whole.
If it was only the broken bone that she was dealing with then the pain level would be minimal; but it's the spasms that are causing the greatest amount of pain.
Apparently the muscle spasms are in direct contact with nerve endings in and around the pelvic area... this is what is causing the excruciating pain.
I've told her that many are asking about, thinking about, and most importantly praying for her... she is very appreciative of all the thoughts being sent her way and the prayers going up on her behalf.
Joshua 1:9
Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee to whatever place you go.
I believe that is the perfect scripture for now... We still don't understand the why's of this happening; but God does. He is right there next to mom going through this with her every step of the way.
Already, there is so much that God has allowed me to see through my mothers injury; things I would have never learned had this not happened. For the things the Lord has taught me so far; I am so very thankful.
By the way, dad is continuing to hold strong... that's one more thing to be thanking God for.
As for me, yesterday was another 'not so good day'... today seems to be starting off wonderful. It's looking like it could be fireplace weather... wishing my lungs were just a little stronger so that thought could become a reality; well, it's always fun to dream.
Off to spend some time with my Lord in prayer and in the Word!
With Love,
Diana
She is still in horrible amounts of pain... the doctors are comparing her pain to that of a woman at the peak of labor pain.
I remember back to that (there were no epidurals when I had my children)... my beautiful, wonderful daughter provided me with 40 hours of entertainment back then... I thought it would never end.
It's so hard for me to know that mom is experiencing this pain day after day. At least with a baby you know there will eventually be an end to the labor. I will say that on a scale of 1 - 100; she has moved up from a 1 to a 2 in regards to this process as a whole.
If it was only the broken bone that she was dealing with then the pain level would be minimal; but it's the spasms that are causing the greatest amount of pain.
Apparently the muscle spasms are in direct contact with nerve endings in and around the pelvic area... this is what is causing the excruciating pain.
I've told her that many are asking about, thinking about, and most importantly praying for her... she is very appreciative of all the thoughts being sent her way and the prayers going up on her behalf.
Joshua 1:9
Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee to whatever place you go.
I believe that is the perfect scripture for now... We still don't understand the why's of this happening; but God does. He is right there next to mom going through this with her every step of the way.
Already, there is so much that God has allowed me to see through my mothers injury; things I would have never learned had this not happened. For the things the Lord has taught me so far; I am so very thankful.
By the way, dad is continuing to hold strong... that's one more thing to be thanking God for.
As for me, yesterday was another 'not so good day'... today seems to be starting off wonderful. It's looking like it could be fireplace weather... wishing my lungs were just a little stronger so that thought could become a reality; well, it's always fun to dream.
Off to spend some time with my Lord in prayer and in the Word!
With Love,
Diana
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