September 29, 2007 ~ Weekly Update #2

September 29, 2007

When you read these updates my intent is for you to see how to pray for me and then to be able to laugh along with me. Please know that I do have my down times and I am certainly not perfect as you will see in this update. However, once I am done getting angry and crying I then pick up God’s word and starting reading it. What I have found to be especially true when I don’t have the strength to do anything else is to just turn on some Christian music. Eventually I am able to even laugh about what I am going through.

Well, sit back and enjoy as I think this week will bring you quite a chuckle!!!!!

It was funny as starting this week I was thinking there wasn’t going to be much to write about… oh how wrong I would be.

What I hadn’t mentioned last week was that my lawyer had arranged a psychiatric evaluation on Wednesday. I know what you are thinking; Diana is certainly crazy enough, what a great idea to put her on disability for simply being herself. The psychiatrist that I was to see is apparently very well known in the courts for providing psych evaluations in cases such as mine. The idea here was not to prove that I am psychotic, but instead to show how the stress of the last two and one half years of my life is affecting me. When first reviewing my case he couldn’t believe that I had been denied and then looked at my age and realized the reason for the denial. I ended up being there from 9:00am to just after 5:00pm. The results were very positive in that he feels his report will, without a doubt provide the evidence needed in order for me to receive disability.

I am cautiously optimistic now, but am continuing with the other testing so please continue to pray wisdom for the doctors and those reading the test results.

After a very long day on Wednesday, I woke up Thursday morning as usual… I had an appointment with my diabetic doctor in the afternoon so I was keeping my activities to a minimum. Because Wednesday had been a very busy day, I was really trying to take it easy.

I love candles, the smell of them, the sense of calm they provide, and a feeling of the upcoming fall season they bring. Yes, it’s true that Thursday was a relatively warm day (upper 80’s), still, I enjoy candles. Also, for the first time ever I have a fire place with a mantleJ On top of the mantle I have it beautifully decorated with fall leaves, wood carved pumpkins, and dried mini colorful ears of corn. Directly above the fireplace I have a nice wood framed mirror. In the middle of all this I have a rather large 4 wick spice candle. I have used this candle for a few years so it has burned down quite low.

At this point I would like you to remember that I am under a great deal of STRESS.

As many in my church have been doing over the last several weeks, our assistant Pastor and his lovely wife, David and Victoria had sent over several bags overflowing with groceries Thursday morning. I took one of the frozen burritos they had bought and put it in the microwave.

I decided to light the candle on the fireplace and then went into my room to check something on the computer while it cooked.

While sitting at the computer (we are talking just a few seconds here), I started smelling something burning. I thought oh this is odd, that burrito smells kind of funny, ignoring it I continued on. Then I thought, hmmm… it smells sort of like melting plastic… burning rubber????? What kind of burrito did they buy me???? They are after all Pastors aren’t they????

I decided I should go out to the kitchen and see what was going on… You guessed it; everything on the mantle was on fire.

Now those of you who haven’t seen me in awhile need to know that I can’t move around very quickly. Another thing to keep in mind, the water pressure in our kitchen isn’t very good. I am thankful to God for many things, but one in particular stands out, my son Ricky was home, asleep yes, but home none the less.

I start yelling, screaming for Ricky, over and over again. Meanwhile, I am able to make my way to the kitchen and fill a glass with about 6 ounces of water, get back to the fire and throw the water on it. This made it worse; the flames went in every direction. I’m continuing to scream for Rick and trying to get back to the kitchen just as fast as I can. Now I don’t know if my legs just gave out or if I tripped over something. (If you could see my house you would know it was probably the latter). I landed hard on my knees and oh did this hurt. It was at about that moment that Ricky came out of his room, he is very good to me, his first concern was to find out if I was okay. I got up went back to the kitchen for a second glass with another 6 ounces of water and back to the fire. Again, the flames went in every direction, so I decided I would stand there and try to blow the fire out.

At just this second Ricky comes in thru the backyard with the garden hose and puts the fire out. I sat on the couch and Ricky got two bags of ice, one for each knee. At just about this time an elderly neighbor came walking up our walkway to ask what was wrong. She lives about three doors down and across the street; she had heard me screaming for Ricky. God allowed for my normally weak lungs to produce a very loud voice. I invited her in and when she saw what happened she stood there speechless.

Long story short, the damage is minimal; Robert (my grandson’s daddy) can fix it for me. As for me, I had an x-ray of my left knee (it’s probably just a sprain or bad bruise), but I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck. I spent a good amount of time being very angry at myself and crying because I wasn’t able to handle myself properly in a critical situation.

My grandson (Nicholas) came home from school and had a few words of wisdom for me. Now a little info for those of you who haven’t seen me in some time, in the last four years I have put on a lot of weight. For those of you at GHCC (church), you would have never guessed that just about 4 or 5 years ago I was in a size 7/8.

Nicks first response was one of being upset that some pictures of him and I were burned in the fire. The he said to me, “You know Grandma, if you didn’t weigh so much you probably wouldn’t fall over when you try to run”. Don’t you just love what comes out of the mouths of little ones? He certainly is speaking the truth!!!

He continued, “Grandma, you know all you had to do was call 911 when you fell, the firemen would have helped you and put out the fire”. Ya think?????? A 4 ½ year old knows more then me.

Anyway, I am no longer allowed to play with fire if no adults are at home. Just one more thing added to the list of things I can no longer do. I really do pray that once this is all over, God will restore the sense that I have seemed to loss due to the stress overriding my life.

God is certainly in the process of refining me and my life. What happened on Thursday was no surprise to Him and whatever happens next week will not be a surprise to Him either. I am daily learning to give control of my life to Christ and allowing Him to be Lord of my life.

The end of the race is so close, by that I mean going to court for disability. It’s almost as if I am running a race, I can see the finish line but I don’t know how I am going to make it across.

My health deteriorated greatly in the 3 months that I went without medical insurance. In order to catch up, my medical costs have been a few thousand dollars this month alone. We haven’t been able to pay rent yet for September and have nothing for October.

Please pray that God will provide this for us, at this point it will be nothing short of a miracle. God has given our landlord grace for us, I’m not sure at what point that will end, but for now we are living on that grace.

Also pray that God will continue to give me wisdom in how to spend the money that the kids give me every week, so that not one penny is spent foolishly.

More than anything I truly appreciate your prayers!

Love to you all,

Diana

God doesn’t promise an easy passage; just a safe landing.

September 24, 2007 ~ Weekly Update #1

September 24, 2007

Because things are changing at a rapid rate and I don’t always have the energy to share the “good news” with each individual, this will begin what I like to call “Diana’s Weekly Update”. hehehe

This is also what I am going to use to communicate prayer requests to you! I do need your prayers now more than ever, as my doctor said, my body is just starting to get tired! (So is my brain, I am not remembering anything anymore, just ask Jeralynn!) I am so looking forward to when this is all behind me and I can be me again!

No promises that I will be the author each week, it may be Jeralynn (those who don’t know Jeralynn, she is a very close friend from church, and she and her husband are neighbors of mine). My being the author is dependent on how I am feeling; besides if she writes you, the grammar will be perfect!! hehehe

It looks like my case may be going to court in the next 2 – 3 months. I met with my lawyer the week before last; she informed me that serious effort needs to go into providing evidence that I am disabled.

She said my best chance might be going with the complications I am having with diabetes.

So… the race is now on to get as many tests done as possible in order to provide proof to the courts that I am disabled.

Spinal cord injuries will have a difficult time coming into play because I am only 44, if I were 49 or 50 I would have no problem getting disability. If the doctors were able to provide proof of spinal cord injuries that would increase my chance of receiving it for spinal cord damage. However, proof can not be provided as I have a plate both in the back and in the front of my neck. With that they are not able to take images that would produce the evidence that is needed.

To provide the needed evidence I would need to undergo surgery to remove the plate from the back of my neck. (This, when done, will be considered a major surgery of 6 – 8 hours). Due to other medical problems, primarily diabetes and high cholesterol, (not to mention asthma) my doctors will not proceed with surgery at this time unless it is deemed life threatening.

The good news is that my recent (a few months now) and continued bout with dizziness, nausea, etc… may all be tied into complications from being diabetic. This, if proven, will increase my chances of receiving disability. However, if not proven to be a diabetic complication and is something else instead, it will be just one more ailment and no help for the disability case.

I had an appointment today with my neurologist; he started me on a new medication for the chronic migraines. Good news, a side effect to this new medication is weight loss!

I should be receiving approval for a test called Electronystagmogram (ENG). ENG is done to help see whether there is damage or a problem in how the inner ear, brain, or nerves connecting them work.

Good News/Bad News! The bad news is that 5 days prior to the test I will need to go off the medication that is allowing me to keep food down. I was told this will be 2 hours of being very sick to my stomach. (The good news is a possibility of more weight loss!) This will hopefully take place sooner rather than later in hopes of either making a new diagnosis or ruling something out.

All of my doctors (5 in total) have stated that they would go to court for me as they are all in agreement that I am disabled. The problem is that there needs to be medical proof. I can’t be deemed disabled because of a multitude of problems. It doesn’t matter how many physical ailments I have, I just need one (1) with diagnostic evidence.

So you see I will be undergoing a great deal of testing over the next several weeks in hopes of providing medical evidence to the courts. Tests aren’t always accurate, so please pray that God will give the doctors and those who read the tests wisdom.

With prayer requests in mind, please also pray that God will give me wisdom with the finances He has continued to provide.

I may not return your phone calls or emails right away, so please be patient!

Thank you all for your love and prayers ~ I love you all so much,

Diana