I see the finish line... I'm crawling toward it... the pain is intense and continuing to grow with each movement that is made. My mind keeps telling me to go through the motions... don't stop... keep moving! My body tells me to stop but I know that I don't have a choice... just a few more things to do and then I can rest!
Three weeks, two days left!
My goal has been to meet with so many of you prior to going into surgery. That bright idea doesn't look as if it is going to happen. If I haven't already scheduled a 'date' with you then let's plan on getting together after the surgery (or, you could come and see me in the hospital). The time is slipping away faster and faster... I still have so much to take care of over the next 23 days!
First on the list is to complete my 'Five Wishes'. This is something that I was hoping to have done a couple weeks back, it just didn't happen. No matter who you are, this is something that you should look into and have on file... it's the greatest gift you could give your family. http://www.agingwithdignity.org/five-wishes.php
Five Wishes lets your family and doctors know:
Who you want to make health care decisions for you when you can't make them.
The kind of medical treatment you want or don't want.
How comfortable you want to be.
How you want people to treat you.
What you want your loved ones to know.
Another piece of interesting information... Medcure (This is NOT Medicare). This is a no-cost, compassionate alternative to a traditional funeral. I've been signed up for this for years... it's certainly worth taking a look at, especially if you are financially frugal.
http://www.medcure.org/index.html
I'm trying to take this one week at a time... this week I would like to...
Attend the Palm Sunday service at church...
Celebrate the birth of my eldest... Jennifer (my princess) will be turning 27 on March 31st. I am so thankful to have this wonderful young lady in my life and so proud to be able to call her my daughter!
Attend the Good Friday Service at church on the evening of April 2nd. If your church does not have a Good Friday service please consider coming to our church. http://granadahillscc.org/ This is a time when we reflect on God the Father sending His Son, Jesus Christ to die on the cross in place of our sin. It's time spent thanking God for sending His Son and then thanking Christ for giving His perfect life for what is the filth of our sin.
Then comes Easter Sunday morning; this is when we celebrate our Risen Lord. Yes, he died, but three days later He rose from the grave. During this service we will give praise to our Lord for what He has done and what He will continue to do in the lives of those who serve Him. Again, if you are looking for somewhere to attend please know that I would love to see you Easter Sunday Morning. http://granadahillscc.org/
Next, either Sunday afternoon/evening, or Monday evening my family will be celebrating me! Yes, it's true, I will be turning 47 on Easter Sunday! Celebrate, celebrate, celebrate... ME!
So that everyone knows that I'm not forgetting... At some point before surgery my family will join together again, but this time it will be in celebration of my son's birth... my handsome baby boy is turning 24 years old on April 16th.
In between all of this, Rick is helping me get as much as possible listed on Craigslist and in our eBay store. The goal for the next two weeks is to make as much money as possible so that most of the bills can be paid in advance for one or two months. This way, the continued focal point of money worries can be transferred to the focal point being a time for healing and recovery.
As I mentioned in the beginning, the pain is growing more severe with each passing day. Each one of my days goes something like this...
I wake up (whenever I wake up).... spend time in the Bible and in prayer (I continue to pray for many of you as the Lord puts you on my heart); this is done while I am sitting with ice on my head and/or neck to reduce any swelling and/or pain that occurred during sleep.
Then I will try to do something, anything that is working towards being accomplished, whether it's paperwork, eBay, sorting... After a couple hours of this it's back to putting ice on my head/neck, pain pills, and back to bed.
This cycle repeats itself throughout the day unless I stop to take advantage of the help I receive from either Rick, or when Jennifer and her family stop by. And then there are the boys... any time they show up I stop what I'm doing and focus my attention on them. This time is usually spent watching them while they play on the swing set!
My sugars have continued to stay down, however, the neuropathy in my hands and feet have greatly increased over the last few weeks. With that, my medication has once again changed and increased. The amount of bleeding that I experience has increased, but this is chalked up to the increased amount of, as well as the harshness of the pain pills that I am requiring. Hopefully, this will dissipate after surgery, resulting in the reduction in pain.
As I'm writing this I've found myself pausing and reflecting on my life... it's very important to me that you don't have the wrong impression of my life. It's important to me that you know that I couldn't ask for anything better then the life my Lord has given me.
PR (my pastor) sent a note to me earlier this week... I'm going to share part of his note with you...
Philippians 4:11-13
11Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.
12I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.
13I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
When we learn to be content whatever the circumstances, it takes away the power of the enemy (Satan). It takes away his ability to frustrate us. Not only that, but by our actions we are showing our faith in God. When you choose to trust in His timing, you can live in peace, you can live in joy, and you can rest in Him knowing that He has good things in store for your future.
Love to all,
Diana
Friday, March 26, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
March 16, 2010 ~ Weekly Update #59
So little time.... So much to do...
Many have asked for information but I just haven't had time to sit down and write... this entry will simply be to answer questions...
When is your surgery?
The date for surgery has been set, Monday, April 19, 2009!
What hospital will you be in and how can we get information?
I will be posting the hospital information in the next week or so. I haven't yet figured out how the recovery information will be distributed, but once I know I will share that with you.
Why do you have a plate in your neck?
The doctors have recently determined that the cause for a few of my ailments have most likely been a side effect to 'The Cough', which is a symptom of Bronchial COPD. This cough that I refer to isn't a normal cough... it is an extreme cough, a very harsh cough, one that is strong enough that it has caused several health problems in and throughout my body. The ailments blamed on COPD (and the cough) are: Degenerative Disk Disease ~ Hiatel Hernia ~ Deviated Septum ~ Fissures. The very first symptoms go back about nine years ago when I had a cough that didn't go away; little did I know then that it would last for what appears to be the rest of my life.
Is this surgery risky?
All surgeries are risky but this surgery has a bit more of a risk then it did last time I had it done. There is very good chance that I will come thru this surgery unaffected and walk away 100% better then I currently am. However, there is just as great a chance that many things can go wrong and that I may not walk away.
A wonderful man at our church is going thru some medical problems himself and he once said that no matter what happens... It's a win, win situation! That's exactly how I feel!
If I make it thru this surgery then I win.... it was worth it all ~ I get to spend more time with friends and family!
If I don't make it thru this surgery then I win that way as well... I will wake up in the presence of my Lord and spend eternity worshiping Him... that is also worth it all!
Why are you having the surgery if it is so risky?
As you continue to read please know that I am counting the days and the hours before I go into surgery... that regardless of the results, I will be rejoicing!
The reason I am having the surgery done, even with the high risks are because of the location of the screw (if you aren't familiar with this then read my previous entry). With it's placement in the root canal, it can cause irreparable damage or worse... if I have another harsh cough it could once again move around with no certainty of where it will finally rest. Additionally, and this reason is more important to me... I can no longer tolerate the pain I am in.
What do you do to ease the pain?
Besides being sedated with pain pills (which I really can't stand - I can't accomplish anything once I've taken one of these pills). The only way to control the pain I'm in is to sit with my head supported in one position... this while having both arms being able to hang in place at my sides. By having a 'loose' screw embedded in the wrong location, any move I make causes extreme inflammation and swelling. I can be active for about 15 minutes (active means slicing a tomato) and then I sit with ice bags around my neck and on the top of my head for about 30 minutes and the cycle continues by repeating itself throughout the day. If I don't catch the inflammation and swelling early enough then I end up in bed for a few days, and finally at the doctors office for a shot or two in hopes that the pain will subside.
What are the risks with this surgery?
Again, as you continue to read, the one thing you should know is that my God, my Lord, Jesus Christ remains in control regardless of what the outcome is.
There are two risks to this surgery for me...
First, I'm diabetic... I take pills and shots on a daily basis... If you know anything about diabetes you will know that it doesn't take much to send your sugars sky-rocketing. As for me, I can go to bed with my sugars being 112 and wake up with them being 280. When one has uncontrolled diabetes (such as mine) the risks that surgery bring are: Uncontrolled infection ~ Dangerous and prolonged healing process ~ Possibility of the wound going unhealed and remaining open to infection.
I'm on antibiotics at least once a month... this is for the bronchial infections. Because I've been on so many antibiotics there is a greater risk that if an infection develops in the incision it may be resistant to any antibiotics used to fight this infection.
Second, I have Bronchial COPD with Asthma... I currently use three inhalers, sleep with a cool mist vaporizer and oxygen. I use a nasal rinse on a daily basis, and take four pills each day in an attempt to control the symptoms associated with this disease. And, as I just mentioned I'm on antibiotics about once a month. The risk with having this disease... it will most likely be difficult to take me off the ventilator at the completion of surgery.
The problem is not the surgery itself, it's the length of the surgery... I will be under anesthesia for 6 - 9 hours. That's long enough for my lungs to become accustom to and rely upon the ventilator to do the breathing for me.
Just as some of us do in life, my lungs just may want to stay comfortable and rely on something else to do the work for them... hehehe
How big will the incision be?
The incision will be a large one; they will start in the middle of my head and open me up to just above my shoulder blades... the incision will go down to my spine where they will remove the one dislodged screw along with the three other screws and the plate. It will be determined at that time whether or not a new plate needs to be put in or whether the bones are strong enough to stand on their own.
When are your parents coming out?
My parents are flying out to care for me after the surgery... I've been asked why they aren't coming in for the surgery... That's a simple answer, I will require 24 hour care once I come home... I'm not sure how long I will need that kind of care but they are planning on staying for a few weeks.
When I say 24 hour care, I mean that my mother will be sleeping in my room with me and my father will be taking care of both my mother and me so that she can remain by my side.
I'm looking forward to spending this time with my parents... this should be a wonderful time of healing and fun!
When I spend time speaking with my Lord (this is several times a day) I ask Him to please allow this surgery and recovery to go smoothly... So smoothly in fact, that once my parents are here we can just enjoy each others company and have a huge celebration for my grandsons 1st birthday!
Why have you delayed having surgery until April?
There are a few reasons why I delayed having this surgery until mid-April...
Jennifer's birthday ~ March 31st
My birthday & Easter ~ April 4th
Erich's (Rick) birthday ~ April 16th
And then... there's all this stuff I'm trying to get done before I go in... ya know, like getting my house in order.
How did all this happen?
In a brief synopsis of the last nine years....
A small number of you knew me before I became ill... but most of you have only known me since I've been ill.
I have several ailments (the list is too long for this entry - I will list them in my next entry); these ailments have slowly stripped my of life as I once knew it to be.
Nine years ago I was a healthy, single mother of two, homeschooling my youngest while holding down a full time job. I had just purchased my first home and was completely out of debt (beside the house payment) for the first time in my life.
Now, I am a single mother of two, a mother-in-law of one, and a grandmother of two. I am a woman permanently confined to home and in constant pain. My abilities to move are limited and what energy I have is spent carefully, with putting much thought into how I want to use that energy everyday.
My life, as it is today, demands that I rely completely upon others for everything I need and do.
This umbrella of dependency covers everything: finances ~ making sure I'm still alive in the morning ~ telling me when I need to shave my facial hair (from steroid use) ~ providing me with a well stocked supply of diapers ~ making sure there is food in the house ~ ensuring there is enough ice for my neck/head ~ plus everything in between.
Who does all of this for you?
As most of you know, my primary caregiver is Jeralynn... remember to thank her if you have a chance. And don't forget Stephen, Jeralynns husband... he supports her efforts in taking care of me 100%.
More questions?
I know this hasn't answered all your questions; so if I have forgotten your question or you have additional questions then please send them to me and I will answer them.
Meanwhile, love to you all!
Diana
Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
Many have asked for information but I just haven't had time to sit down and write... this entry will simply be to answer questions...
When is your surgery?
The date for surgery has been set, Monday, April 19, 2009!
What hospital will you be in and how can we get information?
I will be posting the hospital information in the next week or so. I haven't yet figured out how the recovery information will be distributed, but once I know I will share that with you.
Why do you have a plate in your neck?
The doctors have recently determined that the cause for a few of my ailments have most likely been a side effect to 'The Cough', which is a symptom of Bronchial COPD. This cough that I refer to isn't a normal cough... it is an extreme cough, a very harsh cough, one that is strong enough that it has caused several health problems in and throughout my body. The ailments blamed on COPD (and the cough) are: Degenerative Disk Disease ~ Hiatel Hernia ~ Deviated Septum ~ Fissures. The very first symptoms go back about nine years ago when I had a cough that didn't go away; little did I know then that it would last for what appears to be the rest of my life.
Is this surgery risky?
All surgeries are risky but this surgery has a bit more of a risk then it did last time I had it done. There is very good chance that I will come thru this surgery unaffected and walk away 100% better then I currently am. However, there is just as great a chance that many things can go wrong and that I may not walk away.
A wonderful man at our church is going thru some medical problems himself and he once said that no matter what happens... It's a win, win situation! That's exactly how I feel!
If I make it thru this surgery then I win.... it was worth it all ~ I get to spend more time with friends and family!
If I don't make it thru this surgery then I win that way as well... I will wake up in the presence of my Lord and spend eternity worshiping Him... that is also worth it all!
Why are you having the surgery if it is so risky?
As you continue to read please know that I am counting the days and the hours before I go into surgery... that regardless of the results, I will be rejoicing!
The reason I am having the surgery done, even with the high risks are because of the location of the screw (if you aren't familiar with this then read my previous entry). With it's placement in the root canal, it can cause irreparable damage or worse... if I have another harsh cough it could once again move around with no certainty of where it will finally rest. Additionally, and this reason is more important to me... I can no longer tolerate the pain I am in.
What do you do to ease the pain?
Besides being sedated with pain pills (which I really can't stand - I can't accomplish anything once I've taken one of these pills). The only way to control the pain I'm in is to sit with my head supported in one position... this while having both arms being able to hang in place at my sides. By having a 'loose' screw embedded in the wrong location, any move I make causes extreme inflammation and swelling. I can be active for about 15 minutes (active means slicing a tomato) and then I sit with ice bags around my neck and on the top of my head for about 30 minutes and the cycle continues by repeating itself throughout the day. If I don't catch the inflammation and swelling early enough then I end up in bed for a few days, and finally at the doctors office for a shot or two in hopes that the pain will subside.
What are the risks with this surgery?
Again, as you continue to read, the one thing you should know is that my God, my Lord, Jesus Christ remains in control regardless of what the outcome is.
There are two risks to this surgery for me...
First, I'm diabetic... I take pills and shots on a daily basis... If you know anything about diabetes you will know that it doesn't take much to send your sugars sky-rocketing. As for me, I can go to bed with my sugars being 112 and wake up with them being 280. When one has uncontrolled diabetes (such as mine) the risks that surgery bring are: Uncontrolled infection ~ Dangerous and prolonged healing process ~ Possibility of the wound going unhealed and remaining open to infection.
I'm on antibiotics at least once a month... this is for the bronchial infections. Because I've been on so many antibiotics there is a greater risk that if an infection develops in the incision it may be resistant to any antibiotics used to fight this infection.
Second, I have Bronchial COPD with Asthma... I currently use three inhalers, sleep with a cool mist vaporizer and oxygen. I use a nasal rinse on a daily basis, and take four pills each day in an attempt to control the symptoms associated with this disease. And, as I just mentioned I'm on antibiotics about once a month. The risk with having this disease... it will most likely be difficult to take me off the ventilator at the completion of surgery.
The problem is not the surgery itself, it's the length of the surgery... I will be under anesthesia for 6 - 9 hours. That's long enough for my lungs to become accustom to and rely upon the ventilator to do the breathing for me.
Just as some of us do in life, my lungs just may want to stay comfortable and rely on something else to do the work for them... hehehe
How big will the incision be?
The incision will be a large one; they will start in the middle of my head and open me up to just above my shoulder blades... the incision will go down to my spine where they will remove the one dislodged screw along with the three other screws and the plate. It will be determined at that time whether or not a new plate needs to be put in or whether the bones are strong enough to stand on their own.
When are your parents coming out?
My parents are flying out to care for me after the surgery... I've been asked why they aren't coming in for the surgery... That's a simple answer, I will require 24 hour care once I come home... I'm not sure how long I will need that kind of care but they are planning on staying for a few weeks.
When I say 24 hour care, I mean that my mother will be sleeping in my room with me and my father will be taking care of both my mother and me so that she can remain by my side.
I'm looking forward to spending this time with my parents... this should be a wonderful time of healing and fun!
When I spend time speaking with my Lord (this is several times a day) I ask Him to please allow this surgery and recovery to go smoothly... So smoothly in fact, that once my parents are here we can just enjoy each others company and have a huge celebration for my grandsons 1st birthday!
Why have you delayed having surgery until April?
There are a few reasons why I delayed having this surgery until mid-April...
Jennifer's birthday ~ March 31st
My birthday & Easter ~ April 4th
Erich's (Rick) birthday ~ April 16th
And then... there's all this stuff I'm trying to get done before I go in... ya know, like getting my house in order.
How did all this happen?
In a brief synopsis of the last nine years....
A small number of you knew me before I became ill... but most of you have only known me since I've been ill.
I have several ailments (the list is too long for this entry - I will list them in my next entry); these ailments have slowly stripped my of life as I once knew it to be.
Nine years ago I was a healthy, single mother of two, homeschooling my youngest while holding down a full time job. I had just purchased my first home and was completely out of debt (beside the house payment) for the first time in my life.
Now, I am a single mother of two, a mother-in-law of one, and a grandmother of two. I am a woman permanently confined to home and in constant pain. My abilities to move are limited and what energy I have is spent carefully, with putting much thought into how I want to use that energy everyday.
My life, as it is today, demands that I rely completely upon others for everything I need and do.
This umbrella of dependency covers everything: finances ~ making sure I'm still alive in the morning ~ telling me when I need to shave my facial hair (from steroid use) ~ providing me with a well stocked supply of diapers ~ making sure there is food in the house ~ ensuring there is enough ice for my neck/head ~ plus everything in between.
Who does all of this for you?
As most of you know, my primary caregiver is Jeralynn... remember to thank her if you have a chance. And don't forget Stephen, Jeralynns husband... he supports her efforts in taking care of me 100%.
More questions?
I know this hasn't answered all your questions; so if I have forgotten your question or you have additional questions then please send them to me and I will answer them.
Meanwhile, love to you all!
Diana
Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)