(Part 2)
I know it's been a while since I made a new blog entry... As with everyone there are periods in ones life that are more complicated then others, and for me the last couple years have been a bit more complicated, thus the delay in blogging.
Getting back to what happened on (Sunday, October 14th)...
I don't have any memory of what actually happened after going into a vegetative state, the following is from what my church family has told me.
Several people in the church called 911, someone in the back of the church interrupted my pastor by stating that I was unresponsive and that my church family needed to pray. The service stopped immediately and everyone went into action, either with prayer or by aiding me until the EMT's arrived.
Many that knew that I was diabetic and on the chance that I had low sugars they were trying to get sugar into me. From what I was told, I wasn't too cooperative in swallowing anything, liquid or otherwise. One of my friends who recently lost her husband said that it looked like I was gazing into the eyes of Jesus. She said that I looked like I was at such peace, just staring into glory (even now as I write that, what a wonderful picture that is in my mind).
In the midst of all this someone stood up and instructed anyone that wasn't assisting me to move to the other side of the room. All the while people had broken into small groups to pray, some were praying quietly, others were praying with out-stretched hands, and still others were leading in prayer with others following along in agreement.
The EMT's finally arrived, one of the first things they did was to test my sugar, it was fine. Shortly thereafter they whisked me off to the hospital with sirens and lights blaring. What I didn't know was that as I was being rushed to the hospital my church family had formed a huge circle and prayed and prayed, and then they prayed some more, they prayed until there was no more praying left in them. What they didn't know until right now (as they are reading this for themselves) is that God answered their prayers in a miraculous way (you need to read until the end to find out exactly how miraculous it is).
Back to the hospital... I arrived at the hospital and 'Code Stroke' was called. I don't know much of what happened during this time because nobody was there to tell me, but I do remember bits and pieces.
Someone said that they needed to test my urine because they thought I had overdosed. I couldn't move or speak, and I couldn't communicate with them but I do remember wanting to yell at them 'NO' and tell them that I didn't overdose on anything. I thought just take the urinalysis, that way you'll know and you can move on to finding out what's really wrong.
At a different point I remember a doctor coming in and asking me if I could blink, he told me to blink once for yes and twice for no. I blinked once, yes, I could blink. He said that he had some questions to ask me and he needed me to be honest with him when I answer him. Okay, ask the questions I thought, do whatever you need to do to get my body back to functioning again. (I was still unable to move from the neck down and unable to speak).
The first and only question that I remember, "Did that church that you attend do something weird to you?" I blinked big and hard two times, I clearly remember that because I thought you have got to be kidding me, that's what you are focusing on!?! I'm not sure how many times he asked me that, and I'm not sure how many times he left and then came back, it was like he thought that coming back in the room and asking me again was going to give him a different answer. Each time he would ask the question and every time I gave him the same answer, two blinks, the answer was no. If I could have spoke I would have told him to please get off this and go figure out what is really wrong with me.
I remember my children and friends coming in to see me but I couldn't communicate and I don't clearly remember any of those visits. Then there were moments when I was alone, thinking what is going on, why can't I speak or move... I was so frustrated.
Several hours had gone by (I'm guessing about six hours), and then for no apparent reason (I actually do know the reason, it was the healing hand of Jesus reaching down and doing a miraculous work in my body) I started talking. It was very difficult at first, it was a struggle and it was a bit jumbled... but God slowly took my tongue and straightened it out. I was able to speak as though nothing had happened, I didn't remember very much, but I could talk.
Now that I was able to talk that same doctor came back in my room, again insisting that 'those people' at 'that church' did something to me that put me into a trance like state. "What?" was my response. Okay, he said, then I want you to consider that you may have had a physiological break... again, "What?" was my response. I told him that just a week or two ago my doctor said that I was experiencing TIA's (mini stroke's). 'No, that's not what it is' he said... I was scared... did I really have a physiological break?
They had a room ready for me in ICU but because I had started talking they decided to move me to the cardiac unit. I'm not exactly sure why they moved me there, but just as soon as I arrived they hooked me up to an EKG machine and ran it every 4 hours. I had wires coming out of every part of me and I was being monitored constantly. I didn't get much sleep that night, doctors and nurses were coming in all night doing different tests and just making sure I was still alert. Every couple of hours someone would come in just to sit and talk to me, they would ask me who the president was, what year it was, who I was (if I was thinking I probably could have really had some fun with that, but my mind couldn't wrap around being funny at the moment).
The next day was full of more tests, more CT Scans, MRI, a physiotherapist came in to help me move my arms and legs, and before the day was out... to help me walk again. Someone else came in to make sure that I was able to swallow and eventually eat... I was exhausted.
But oh my, let's talk about the MRI shall we... I've had many MRI's in my life, many of them. I've always looked forward to them. In the past I've always spent this time in prayer... it's perfect for time alone with my Lord, nobody is going to bother me for a good 30 - 60 minutes, it's just me and God... I was actually looking forward to this.
Now, if you haven't ever had an MRI let me describe it to you... you lay down a table and they slide you into a narrow tube (the bigger you are the more narrow the tube... lol). It's pretty noisy and like I mentioned, it lasts 30 - 60 minutes.
Backing up a bit, just before they took me down for the MRI they allowed me to eat my first meal, the meal was pretty rich, some kind of beef tips in a gravy sauce with potatoes and green beans (it was delicious).
I was loaded into the machine and strapped into place. The MRI was for my brain so to ensure that I wouldn't move my head they put a frame around my neck and head (it was locked into place and was secure).
I was about 35 minutes into the procedure and it hit me. Those beef tips I had earlier are starting to go through me, I'm going to need to use the restroom soon. So I say "Hello", no answer... a little louder I yelled, "Hello", still no answer. Now I'm starting to panic so I shout, "Hello, does anybody hear me", nothing. I start pounding on the machine and continue to yell, still nothing. Okay, I tell myself to try and relax, calm down, think of something soothing, I'm at the beach, yes, I'm at the beach... look, there are the waves, it's warm, I'm getting a tan, I like being tan... and then I snap myself out of it... I'm NOT at the beach, this is NOT helping, I scream "HELP", still nothing!
That's it, I'm in a full blow panic attack! I remember wondering if my feet were on the inside or outside of the machine... I realized they are on the outside of the machine and that's when it hit me that this was my way out. I was able to pull off the frame they had around my head and flew out of the machine. Keep in mind that I still had many tubes and wires coming out of me (I won't go into specifics, but there were a lot of them). By this time I was hysterical and all I could think was that I am crazy, I really am crazy, they are going to put me into an institution, I've gone insane.
At that moment I saw three or four men in white lab coats running towards (that image didn't help when I was certain they were going to institutionalize me... lol). They got me up off the floor and started checking to make sure I wasn't hurt.
The man that did the test said all he saw was me flying out of the machine and doing a somersault over the table, I was crying uncontrollably telling these men that the ER doctor said I was crazy and he's right. One of the men grabbed me and held on to me, he kept telling me that it was okay, not to worry, that this happens all the time (yeah, right...). I continued on , shaking and crying, I knew that this was proof that something was wrong with my mind, I just knew it.
And then, just as quick as that happened a nurse came over to me, she so kindly started talking to me. She asked what had brought me to the hospital, I told her. Then I told her that the one doctor is insisting that I'm either crazy or that something happened at my church that put me into a trance.
She told me that she goes to church, I asked what church she attends, "Rocky Peak" was her answer. I know Rocky Peak, I told her that I worship at Granada Hills Community Church. She smiled at me, she told me that at one time she attended GHCC, she continued on saying how much she loved my Pastor and his wife. Immediately she told everyone within earshot that there was nothing done to me at that church that would have put me into a trance. I knew right then that God had sent an angel to me, I knew that I was going to be okay and that was Gods way of letting me know that nothing was wrong with me mentally.
By the way, since then I've been reassured by many that having a panic attack in an MRI machine happens more often then people are aware of.
It was a long remainder of the day, I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was to go home. They still didn't know what had happened to me and because of not having any answers they insisted that I see a psychiatrist before I leave. The doctors were certain that the psychiatrist would provide the diagnosis and that would be the missing piece of the puzzle.
I was so upset, I knew there was nothing wrong with me mentally and didn't understand why they were making my see a psychiatrist. One of the nurses on my floor came into my room, he told me that everyone who has interacted with me knows that there is nothing wrong with me mentally. He told me to be myself, let the doctor talk to me, let them rule this out so that they can move on to whatever is next on the list. I believe that God gave this man the words that I needed to hear to calm me down, I was ready to speak with whatever doctor they wanted to send my way.
The psychiatrist came in a short time later, after spending about five minutes with me she announced that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me mentally. She gave me her business card and her private number, she told me that if anyone ever tries to say that my problem is psychiatric again to have them call her. She continued saying that she would assist in whatever it took to figure out what is wrong with me.
I eventually went home that night (either that or it was early the next morning... like shortly after midnight). Jeralynn was patient enough to sit there with me while they were figuring out how to discharge me so late at night... all I knew was that I didn't want to spend one more night in the hospital. Only a very good friend would sit with you into the wee hours of the morning to take you home from the hospital... thank you Jeralynn!
And another thank you... thank you Nancy for all that you did that day... from noticing me in church to babysitting my grandchildren... you were amazing!
And so time has gone on... it was just three weeks ago that I finally made it back in for my follow up with the neurologist. Before I go on, make sure you are sitting down when you read this...
But then for those of you who have a relationship with my Lord, please take a moment to fall to your knees and thank God for the miracle, yes it was nothing short of a miracle that He performed in my body on October 14th, 2012.
Okay... back to the diagnosis... (by the way, have any of you guessed what the diagnosis might be?)
I had a massive stroke, yes, you read correctly, a massive stroke!
The doctor said that several doctors (the ones who had seen me at the hospital) have had many meetings and discussions over my case and that they were all very confused. There were many reasons why they were not able to diagnose this when I was in the hospital, the primary reason being because of the quick recovery.
He said that I should not have recovered from this, that I should be a vegetable. He said that I had complete paralysis from the neck down and the complete loss of communication and all bodily functions by the time I entered the ER.
Now some of you may think that this might not be possible, that what I am describing could not have actually happened. I completely understand, I'm still having problems putting all the pieces together.
But for those of you who were in church with me that Sunday, or for those of you who came and saw me at the hospital when I was still in the 'vegetative state' (that's what the doctor called it), you know how bad it was.
And now that you know the diagnosis, you know that this is a modern day miracle. The God I serve is an awesome God!
For those that are wondering, I still have many physical ailments, and my God may or may not choose to heal me completely while I am still on earth. Regardless of whether that happens, there is one thing I know... once I enter into the presence of the Almighty I will instantly be healed!
But I will tell you this... He preformed a miracle in my body that day... it was nothing less than a miracle.
Every morning when I get up I'm jumping up and down with excitement... I'm praising my Lord that I'm alive and well... I'm well... did you read that... I'm well! I can walk, talk, eat, and breath on my own... I'm well! And every night I go to sleep talking with my Lord, thanking Him that I'm able to communicate His love to those around me.
If you are a Christian, do you use the talents that God has given you? I now know that the ability to walk and speak are just two of the talents that God has given me... they are talents that my Lord has given back to me and you can bet I am using them.
I'm no longer in that vegetative state, it's a miracle! The doctor even said, it's a miracle, they have never seen anything like it.
Do you know my Jesus? My Jesus is alive! My brothers and sisters in Christ can call upon the name of my Father in heaven on my behalf and He will listen and answer their prayers.
People, if that doesn't stir up a desire in your heart to want to know my Lord then I don't know what will.
God isn't a magic lamp, He won't grant your every desire, but I'm so glad that He hasn't given me everything that I've ever asked for. Instead my God has given me a life more abundant, more free, and more full of love than I could have ever imagined.
He is my All (El Shaddai), my Provider (Jehovah-Jireh), He is my Healer (Jehovah-Rapha), my Peace in the midst of the storms of life (Jehovah-Shalom), He is always with me (Immanuel)!
My Jesus died on the cross for me and for you, He died that you might have eternal life. Call on His name, turn from you sin, run from your sin and follow Jesus Christ.
If you don't know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior then you will go to hell when you die. Hell is a very real place and eternity is forever, there are no do-overs.
Do you simply know of Jesus or do you have a personal relationship with Him? It's one thing to know someone and it's completely different to have a personal relationship with them.
Most of you that are reading this know me, some of you that are reading this have a personal relationship with me, meaning you know everything about me, things that go on in my day to day life. If I were to throw a party and invite only those who I have a personal relationship with the list would be very short (compared to the number of people I know). Some of the people I know are very nice to me, they've gone out of there way to help me, some are even related to me, but I still don't have a personal relationship with them. For that reason they wouldn't be on the invitation list.
In the same way many of you say that you know Jesus, but in reality you don't have a personal relationship with Him. And because of that, when you stand before Him on the day of judgement He will say I don't know you.
Revelation 20:15
And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.
You might respond saying that you gave to the poor (I helped Diana), I prayed, I went to church... He will still say, depart from me, I don't know you.
Luke 13:
27 But He will say, ‘I tell you I do not know you, where you are from. Depart from Me, all you workers of iniquity.’
Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? Are you in the Word of God daily, are you in prayer constantly? I don't mean that you have to be on your knees, but do you converse with Jesus throughout the day? Do you know Him, do you know that He has a purpose for your life? Are you accomplishing His purpose for your life here on earth? Do you know that He loves you more than you could ever imagine?
Cry out to Him, ask Him to be the Lord of your life, He loves you. When the day comes He wants to be able to welcome you into eternity. He doesn't want to say to any of you, 'Depart from me, I don't know you.'
Please, please, if you have any questions, if you want to know more about salvation through Jesus Christ, please let me know. If you have made a decision for Christ let me know, I would love to rejoice with you in your salvation. And if you would like, I'd be honored to help you find a church where you can begin to fellowship with other believers.
