I want to once again express my sympathy to those of you who have said goodbye to loved ones. We have a new associate pastor, Enoch; his father went home to be with our Lord a couple weeks ago. My friend Lori laid her grandmother to rest on Monday, just a few days after burying her aunt. And as for my family we unexpectedly lost our Uncle Tony on Friday, he was a favorite uncle of mine, Jennifer, Rick, and Nick.
(Matthew 5:4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.)
Saturday morning was a special time spent at church in prayer. What a wonderful time of worship and praise to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Before I truly gave my life to Christ three years I would have thought one to be crazy spending half of their Saturday in prayer. Pray for 4 hours? Really, you are going to spend 4 hours just praying? I now understand that this time is spent communicating with the one who gave me life, I treasure that special time I had with my Lord Saturday morning. I count it a privilege to live in a country where we have the freedom to gather together in prayer and worship.
Prior to receiving the gift of salvation thru Jesus Christ my Lord, my prayer life consisted of an occasional time of communication when a need arose. I had grown accustomed to praying when someone was sick or if I wanted/needed something better than I already had. I tried to always pray before meals and once in awhile after I had done something that I shouldn’t have I would mumble an “I’m sorry God”; I understood this to be the entire purpose of praying.
Can you imagine having a close family member that you only call when you want or need something? I need a job, my friend needs a healing, I want a boyfriend, help me pass this class, or my car isn’t working, please send someone to fix it… If I was to ask you about this family member you wouldn’t be able to tell me a thing about him or her. Why, because you’ve never taken the time to get to know him or her. Eventually you may even find that a deaf ear has been turned toward you.
That is how my relationship was with Christ before my life was turned around and I fully devoted myself to Him. Now when in prayer the needs and wants I have are just a small slice of my conversation with my Lord. Most of my prayer time with my Lord is spent praising Him for who He is. Praising Him for His love, mercy, grace, that He is all powerful, a comforter, faithful, strong, and true, He is a shelter, provider, the beginning and the end… and the list goes on.
(Psalm 145:3 Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; and his greatness is unsearchable.)
My prayer time continues with being thankful for all that He has done. I am thankful for His provisions, food, shelter, and finances, for my doctors, thankful for the health of my children and grandson, for the many friends and family who hold me up in prayer, for my Pastors and the wonderful church that I call home. I thank Him for providing our landlord with grace on our behalf, and for keeping the utilities on. I thank Him for the days I am feeling good, and for being my comforter on the days that I can’t get out of bed.
(1 Chronicles 16:34 O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good; for his mercy endures for ever.)
This did not happen just because I purposed to start praying. I first needed to receive the gift of eternal life thru Jesus Christ my Lord and ask for forgiveness of all my sins. That is when I began to hunger and thirst for the Word of God, I wanted to know my Savior intimately, and I wanted to follow His plan for my life. That was when my Lord then directed me to a church were I have been taught God’s truths.
Because it is rare that I get to sit and speak with any of you for any length of time I would like to share a link with you. This link will help you to better understand what I mean by receiving God’s gift of eternal life. My greatest wish is that you would desire to have a relationship with my Savior as I do. If after viewing this link you have questions or would like to talk then please let me know.
http://www.thegoodpersontest.net/
There are many areas in which I continue to ask God for direction and guidance. The focal point of my crying out to God right now is for the outcome of the SSDI hearing on February 12th.
As excited as I was to finally receive the court date, I am equally very anxious. Because I am human I still feel the emotions of being anxious and fearful, but how wonderful to know that because I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior I don’t need to worry.
(Psalm 46:1, 2
1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea. )
My Lord already knows what the outcome of this trial will be, I now need to have the faith that God is in control.
(Hebrews 11:1, 3
1 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
3 By faith we understand that the worlds were prepared by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things which are visible.)
Regardless, I will continue to make my requests know to my Him. Why, because God’s Word tells me to do just that, and so in obedience I will continue to do just that.
John 16:23-24
23 In that day you will not question Me about anything. Truly, truly, I say to you, if you ask the Father for anything in My name, He will give it to you.
24 Until now you have asked for nothing in My name; ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be made full.
Even though it is apparent to my doctors and those around me that I am incapable of working it will remain a challenge to prove to the courts that I am disabled. The court system doesn’t care that I may have a multitude of medical problems; they just want proof of one.
I have been denied twice because of my age. Since I am only 44, they figure I have another good 20 years or so that I can continue to work. (I’m also hoping that maybe, just maybe the fact that I am turning 45 in a couple months might help to influence the decision in my favor)
As I pray I find myself asking God to open the judge’s eyes to what he needs to see and to close his eyes to what he doesn’t need to see. (Remember how awesome God was in paying the electric bill ~ read more) I’m praying for the judge, that God will begin preparing his heart, that nothing will interfere with this court date either on the side of the law or because of my health or that of my lawyer.
Since many have asked I have decided to provide a list of what is wrong with ‘Diana’. Back in March 2005, I first tried to obtain disability for asthma and then cervical spinal injuries.
Chronic Asthma & Allergies ~ to prove this I need to go to the ER a minimum of 6 times in a twelve month period ~ because of the cost of going to the ER repeatedly is too costly for me, I have a machine to use at home. Because I use this at home and not in the ER it doesn’t qualify toward SSDI.
In April of 2005 asthmatic coughing caused something in my neck to snap. This required a 2nd cervical spinal surgery adding a plate to the back of my neck. As of today I have a plate in the front of my neck and a plate in the back of my neck.
Cervical spinal injuries ~ to prove this I need to have the metal plate in the back of my neck removed; once this has healed I would need a myelogram ~ however, at this time the doctors feel the risk of complications during surgery out-way having this done at this point.
Following are just some of the other medical problems that I am suffering from:
~ Dizziness ~ Falling ~ Dropping things ~ Nausea ~ Slurred speech
~ Forgetfulness ~ Memory Loss ~ Confusion ~ IBS ~ IBS complications
~ Diabetes ~ Diabetic complications ~ Injured knee caps
~ High Cholesterol ~ Cholesterol complications ~ Migraines
~ Limb numbness ~ Additional neurological problems
~ Facial numbness ~ TIA’s ~ Muscle weakness
And the list goes on and on…
Many of these alone are not enough for me to be deemed disabled. However, with the combination of these or even just 3 or 4 of these it makes it impossible for me to work.
As February 12th is quickly approaching I hope that you are as anxiously anticipating the court date as I am. My hope is that you will see how my Lord will take care of me; I can’t wait to see what God will do!
With love to you all,
Diana
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